Reconciliation is Best

Reconciliation in controversial matters is great wisdom. It prevents one’s time and energy being spent futilely and channelizes them towards constructive ends.

In giving commands regarding the relationship between a man and a woman, the Quran has this to say: “If a woman fears ill-treatment or indifference on the part of her husband, it shall be no offence for her to seek a reconciliation, for reconciliation is best. But people are prone to selfish greed. If you do good and fear Him, surely God is aware of what you do.” (4:128)

Reconciliation, a common natural process, is best. It relates to problems of the home as well as to difficulties at the international level. Whenever any individual or group has an unpleasant experience with another individual or group, the wise approach on such an occasion is not to adopt a reactionary attitude. On such an occasion, the best way is that of reconciliation, not of confrontation.

The policy of reconciliation in controversial matters is not one of retreat or cowardice. Its purpose is, in actual fact, to prevent one’s time and energy being spent futilely and to channel one’s energies towards some worthwhile endeavour.

The opposite of reconciliation is battle, or war and violence. In the situation of war and violence both the parties reach a dead end. Their journey stops at the point of the confrontation. On the contrary, in such matters a person should adopt the policy of reconciliation so that he may continue his journey without interruption. He should go on without a break until he finally reaches his destination.

The way of reconciliation appears at first sight to be the way of loss. But if we keep our eyes on the future rather than on the present, we shall find that it is the path to discovery in the full sense. In the last analysis, the policy of reconciliation inevitably leads to success, while the policy of confrontation cannot do other than lead to ruination and failure.