Responding to Criticism

There is a saying in Hindi: “One who can bear the blows of words is my guru, and I am a slave to him.” In other words, a man of this mettle is fit to be a great leader.

There is an English saying which runs:

“Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But names can never hurt me.”

Although words do not actually break one’s bones, the blows they deliver are the hardest of all to bear.

Mr. J. Krishnamurti (1895-1986), a well-known Indian thinker, who died at the age of 91, spoke fluent English and attracted large numbers of the English-speaking public to his lectures. Abroad too, his speeches were listened to with great interest. Even so, Krishnamurti often bewailed the fact that his words fell on deaf ears and that no one was actually willing to put them into practice. In a speech at Madras, he said that for fifty years he had been travelling the world over, putting his thoughts across to people, but that no one paid any heed to them. “Will you now change yourselves?” he asked the gathering, then, answering for them, he said, “After having heard me, you will go back and continue to live as you have been living up till now.” At this, an infuriated member of the audience stood up and said, “You keep on saying this, year after year, that we do not follow you! Then why on earth do you keep on repeating yourself?” Very softly, Krishnamurti replied, “Sir, have you ever asked a rose why it blooms?”

On being criticized, one often becomes incensed, but one never gains anything by letting oneself get into such a state. This is because, in anger, one is not able to control oneself, and will express one’s negative feelings in terms which ill-befit the occasion. Conversely, when one’s emotions are kept well under control, one’s answers will be so tellingly appropriate as to silence all haranguers.