Acceptance of Reality

You have to make an objective estimate of your strength and
then attempt to adjust to the laws of nature.

I was once asked: “What is the simple formula for stress-free living?” I replied, “It is a three-word formula: Acceptance of reality.” Accept the reality, and you are bound to enjoy a life that is stress and tension free.

What are stress and tension? Stress is a feeling of excessive demands being made on one’s physical and mental energy and tension is a feeling of mental strain. Why are people afflicted by these evils? Perhaps, in most cases, it is because they want to live their lives according to their own way of thinking, without taking into account the existence of the external world. Its demands must necessarily be met, otherwise you will fall a prey to that form of negativity, which is generally referred to as stress.

The fact is that our life is like a cogwheel. A cogwheel is a toothed wheel that engages with another toothed wheel in order to change the speed or direction of a moving mechanism. Life runs with the help of two wheels: one is yours and the other is nature’s. Your cog is weak, while nature's cog is strong. The latter has a speed of its own and you have to adjust to its pace. If you try to run your cog at a pace faster than that of nature, your cog will crack and disintegrate, while nature’s will remain intact. It is this difference that inevitably creates stress. People try to run their cog according to their own will, and thus nature does not help them. Because nature's cog is stronger and man's cog weaker, it is always man who suffers.

If you plan your life as you ought, you need not suffer stress. Right planning is realistic planning. First of all, you have to make an objective estimate of your strength and then attempt to adjust to the laws of nature. Rather than place yourself in confrontation with these laws, you should fall in line with them, and, in this way, you will certainly be able to lead a stress-free life.

For example, if you get a job in a multinational organization, you will naturally not want the hire and fire rule to be applicable to you. But, to encourage a desire of this kind is unrealistic. It will lead to unpleasant complications, as this is the procedure generally followed in such companies. If you want to have a stress-free life, you have only two options: either take a multinational job and accept that the principle of hire and fire will be applicable to you, or don't take a job there at all.

Once an American professor, who had come to Delhi to deliver a lecture in a university, was approached by an Indian student who, with the aim of studying in America, asked for his help in getting admission to some university there. The professor smiled and said that admissions to universities in America were done on the basis of merit and not through recommendations. If, in such a situation, an unqualified student did go to America and did not measure up to the standards there, he would certainly start to suffer from tension. However, if he were eligible for a place in an American university, this would not be the case. There would be no tension involved.

It is important not to be over-ambitious but preferably be a realist. If you are over-ambitious, you will become a victim of tension. It is only if you set yourself achievable goals that you will be able to lead a tension-free life.

Stress is not a naturally occurring problem. It is a problem created by individuals themselves. Be ready to accept the reality. And then you will certainly be able to enjoy a stress-free life.

Maulana Wahiduddin Khan
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