RAISING CHILDREN

Islam teaches that one’s love for God should surpass worldly interests. One should be willing to sacrifice everything for God’s sake. We must create a nurturing atmosphere at home and foster a spiritual mindset in them along these lines.

There was a man, Malik Abdul Shakoor, who had a strong addiction to smoking. He would smoke three packets of cigarettes daily despite having countless reasons to quit, such as “Smoking is harmful to health” and “Smoking wastes your hard-earned money.” He remained stubbornly attached to his cigarettes, even declaring to his friends after having tea, “Anyone who doesn’t smoke after tea has no right to drink it.”

However, a minor incident changed his perspective and made him give up his diehard habit. Whenever he discarded cigarette butts after smoking, his three-year-old son, Farooq Qaiser, would pick them up and put them in his mouth. Despite attempts to stop him, the child would not listen. One day, when the child’s mother sternly forbade him, he responded, “But even daddy smokes.” Hearing this from his child struck a chord in Malik Abdul Shakoor. Though he would recite poems about his smoking habit in front of his friends, deep down, he knew that smoking was not only harmful to health and loss of money but also had a negative impact on morals.

When others urged him to quit smoking, he would offer a barrage of verbal justifications to avoid facing the truth of his addiction and unwillingness to admit his mistake. He clung to these justifications without seriously considering any reasons against smoking. However, everything changed when his child’s life became intertwined with the question of cigarettes. All the veils were removed from his mind, allowing him to see the simple truth. The innocent words of his child completely shattered the person who could not put down his defences against strong arguments.

Realizing that if he continued smoking, he could not stop his child from following the same path, he made a profound decision. The child’s words, “But even daddy smokes,” struck him deeply. In a single moment, he made a decision for which years of efforts by his friends had proved inadequate. It was during the month of Ramadan when he decided to quit smoking altogether. The next day, he refrained from smoking and permanently abandoned the habit.

He prioritized his love for his son over his passion for cigarettes. He decided to give up smoking for the sake of their child. Similarly, every individual has interests and benefits that he holds dear. Islam teaches that one’s love for God should surpass worldly interests and be willing to sacrifice them for His sake.

During my interaction with a Muslim resident of America, he expressed concern about the religious identity of his children in the future. He mentioned that his children attend secular schools, but he strives to provide religious education at home, a practice known as home-schooling in America. I pointed out that when he chose to live in America, he should have recognized the inevitable influence of the culture on their children. Attempting to counteract this cultural influence solely through home-schooling is akin to trying to halt a flood with a paper wall. Experience has shown that very few children can be cited as successful examples of achieving the desired goals through home-schooling. In such a situation, it is necessary to adopt a different approach by transforming the home environment and cultivating a dawah mindset within the children. Without creating a nurturing atmosphere at home and fostering a dawah mindset within the children, it is challenging to combat the overwhelming impact of the prevailing cultural flood.