GOODWILL OR ILL-WILL
A father should either refrain from excessive affection towards his daughter or, at the very least, ensure that he conveys to her that they conditioned her at home on unnatural lines and that the natural way forward entails adapting to the norms of her in-laws’ home.
A father made arrangements for his daughter’s marriage in a distant place. Throughout her upbringing, the daughter was never required to perform any chores. Her parents consistently prioritized her happiness, shielding her from any hardships. However, the father understood the situation would be different in her in-laws’ home. As he bid his daughter farewell, he cautioned, “Wherever you go, it will be a new world for you. Do not anticipate the same comfort level in your in-laws’ home as you experienced here in your maternal home.”
From the father’s perspective, this advice was offered under the guise of goodwill. Yet, in reality, it concealed ill will. In truth, it implied that his daughter would perpetually possess a negative mindset within her in-laws’ home. She would forever feel deprived and harbour the belief that her maternal home was good while her in-laws’ house was undesirable. Consequently, she would live her entire life burdened by the notion that her marriage was a mistake, perpetuating a biased perception of her maternal relatives as good and her in-laws’ relatives as bad.
In the present age, nearly every parent demonstrates this false goodwill towards their daughters, which ultimately transforms into continuous ill-will. The conditioning that the daughter receives from her maternal home prevents her from comprehending this matter objectively, while the parents inadvertently reinforce this conditioning instead of eliminating it.
It is indeed true that a father should either refrain from excessive affection (pampering) towards his daughter or, at the very least, ensure that he conveys, upon parting, that the methods employed thus far were unnatural and the natural way forward entails adapting to the customs and norms of her in-laws’ home.
