58. What are the reasons for increasing divorce rates?

According to a research survey published by TIME, women were found to be more emotional as compared to men. The root cause of the problems is that on the one hand, women are emotional and on the other hand, men are unable to tackle these emotions. It is this inability to tackle on their behalf that becomes a source of friction.

When an issue arises between a couple, one of the two must play the role of a pacifist. But this does not happen and the problem only escalates. Both man and woman begin to think the issue is beyond management for them, whereas in reality the problem is that they both do not know how to manage it. Consequently, they arrive at the conclusion that separation is the only solution.

On the contrary, if either of them or a mediator takes time to pacify the matter, the situation could be dealt with differently. Emotions are temporary and once they settle normalcy prevails. All one needs to do is to carefully navigate through the time during which emotions subside. It is the lack of maturity on the part of those involved that leads to a stalemate and consequently the relationship breaks down.

As Dale Carnegie once said:

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotions. (Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1937)) 

It must be noted that friction between couples usually starts on trivial matters. Issues that are significant and involve their mutual interest (such as children, property, etc.) serve as an impediment to drift apart. Once a judge said, ‘A little youngster born to a couple is an assurance that their marriage would not be dissolved in a divorce court.’

As emotions are to women, stubbornness is to men. This stubbornness is an equal contributor to friction between couples. So, in essence, a couple should either have a mediator or one of the two must have the wisdom to settle the matter on their own.