Realizing One’s Own
Shortcomings
He had reached old age and was still unmarried. When asked his reason for remaining a bachelor, he said that he had always been looking for a perfect spouse. “But in all this time, did you not find one?” he was asked. “Once I did,” he replied, “But unfortunately she was looking for a perfect spouse too, and I did not come up to the required standard.”
Generally, people are expert at detecting the faults of others. That is why they are unable to get on with anybody. If they were to seek out their own faults, instead of those of others, they would realize that they are in the same position as they find others to be in. Awareness of one’s own shortcomings makes for a spirit of humility in individuals and unity in society. If one sees only the faults of others, on the other hand, one will become arrogant, and perennially be at odds with one’s fellows.
It is a fact of psychology that no single person can be an amalgam of all good qualities. Just as there are many shades of grey between black and white, so are there many gradations of good and evil in ordinary human beings. While few are saints, few also are the out-and-out villains of this life, and many are the combinations of different qualities and defects than one can find in any given individual. It is no simple matter to label a person wholly good or wholly bad. If there is to be harmony within a community, the bad sides of its members must be tolerated, while their good sides are appreciated. In this way, no talent is lost to society, and fellow-feeling will prevail. This is a principle that should be remembered in all life’ s relationships. Man and wife, employer and employee, businessman and partner—all need to keep it in mind. If we want to pluck “flowers,” we have also to bear the “thorns” that come with them. There is no way that one who cannot put up with thorns will be able to possess the flowers of this life.
There are few great tasks which can be accomplished by individuals single-handedly. Only the talents of several individuals combined can achieve any substantial work. Just as this is true in commercial and political spheres, so is it true of religious work also. But in whatever field work is going on, people will only be able to work together if they are patient and tender¬hearted in their outlook. They will have to bear with one another, putting ill-feeling behind them, not becoming alienated towards one another over petty issues. It is all very well to be an idealist, but if one eternally seeks the ideal in people, one is bound to be disappointed. The only way to be able to work with others, then, is to overlook the fact that they do not come up to one’s ideal standard, and even to extend moral support to those who seem the most deficient.
