Uncertainty about Oneself

It is only when a person has the feeling that of all human beings he is the only one who has attained a high level of God-realization or that of all people he is the only one who is deprived of a high level of God-realization that he can actually reach a high level of God-realization. Yet no one can say with conviction that he has attained a high level of God-realization.

The reason for this uncertainty is that God-realization is not the name of any external course by which one might think that one has learned all that is possible for him to learn and that one has now attained God-realization. It is wholly an internal state and giving any verdict about an internal state is possible only for God, the Lord of the world. Anyone who is a seeker of God-realization cannot himself come to any such conclusion. The high level of God-realization is, in fact, another name for the sublime discovery of divinity. Whenever God’s servant reaches this high level, he feels that, in comparison to God, his position is zero. God is everything and he is nothing. This discovery tells him that in this matter the entire power of decision-making is in the hands of God. Man has no say in this matter. This discovery demonstrates that the entire matter is wholly unilateral.

Who are the people who may be said to have attained God-realization? They are those whose realization is confirmed by God. And God’s decision will be made known only on the Day of Judgement and not even a second prior to that Day. This is why one who has done everything to achieve God-realization still has a feeling of uncertainty about it till the very last minute.