THE WILLINGNESS OF WOMEN
The presence of a greater number of women in a society is not the only prerequisite for polygamy. It is, in addition, compulsory that the woman who is the object of the man’s choice should be willing to enter into the married state. This willingness on the woman’s part is a must before a marriage can be lawful in Islam. It is unlawful to marry a woman by force. There is no example in the history of Islam where a man has been allowed to force a woman into marriage.
The Prophet Muhammad’s view that “an unmarried girl should not be married until her permission has been taken” had been recorded by both al-Bukhari and Muslim (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 5136, Sahih al-Muslim, Hadith No. 1419). ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas, one of the Prophet’s Companions and a commentator on the Quran, narrates the story of a girl who came to the Prophet complaining that her father had her married off against her wishes. The Prophet gave her the choice of either remaining within the bonds of wedlock or freeing herself from them. (Sunan Abu Dawud, Hadith No. 2096)
Another such incident narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Abbas concerns a woman called Barira and her husband, Mughis, who was an enslaved Black person. Abdullah ibn Abbas tells the story as if it were all happening before his eyes: “Mughis is following Barirah through the paths of Madinah. He is crying, and his tears are running down his beard. Seeing him, the Prophet said, ‘O ‘Abbas, are you not surprised at Mughis’s love for Barira and Barira’s hate for Mughis?’ Then the Prophet said to Barira, ‘I wish you would take him back.’ Barira said to the Prophet, ‘Is that a command?’ The Prophet replied, ‘No, it is only a recommendation.’ Then Barira said, ‘I don’t need your recommendation.’” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith No. 5283)
There was an interesting case of polygamy that took place during the Caliphate of ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab. A certain widow, Umm Aban bint ‘Utbah, had four suitors for marriage. All four—‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib, Zubayr, and Talhah—were already married. Umm, Aban accepted the proposal of marriage made by Talhah and, of course, refused the other three; after that, she was married to Talhah. (Ibn Kathir, Al-Bidayah wa an-Nihayah, Vol. 7, p. 153).
This happened in Madinah, the capital of the Islamic State. Among the rejected suitors was the reigning Caliph. But no one expressed even surprise or dismay, the reason being that in Islam, a woman is entirely free to make her own decisions. This is a right that no one can take away from her—not even the ruler of the day.
These incidents show that the Islamic commandments permitting one to marry up to four women does not mean having the right to seize four women and shut them up inside one’s home. Marriage is a matter of mutual consent. Only that woman can be made a second or a third wife willing to be so. And when this matter rests wholly on the woman's willingness, there is no cause for objection.
The present age gives great importance to freedom of choice. This value is fully supported by Islamic law. On the other hand, the upholders of ‘feminism’ want to turn freedom of choice into restriction of choice.
