A PIECE OF ADVICE

Benjamin Franklin, the American thinker, was born in 1706 and died in 1790. One of his sayings is:

“Keep your eyes open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

This means that before marriage, one should gather full knowledge about a partner. But after marriage, one should be content and avoid focusing on every detail. Someone expressed the same idea more simply: test before marriage, adjust afterwards.

No man or woman is perfect. Nobody is flawless or ideal. That is why, before marriage, careful inquiry is necessary. But after marriage, one should focus on the good qualities of a spouse and overlook the shortcomings.

Absolute perfection is not possible in this world. Moreover, what one person considers ideal may not be the same for the other. For this reason, no matter how sincere or correct a person may be, they can never completely satisfy their partner. Each side will always notice some weaknesses in the other.

One option is to fight over these flaws and end the relationship. But the problem is that in any new relationship, sooner or later, another flaw will appear. Even if a second or third marriage is made, the same issues will arise. In such circumstances, the practical way forward is adjustment. Every man and woman has both strengths and weaknesses. The wise approach is to value the strengths and tolerate the weaknesses. In practice, this is the only workable method. No other way is possible in this world.