REACTIVE VERSUS REFLECTIVE RESPONSE
When someone encounters something that conflicts with their temperament, there are two possible responses: an emotional reaction or a non-emotional reaction. An emotional response is precisely what, in medical terms, is called an allergy. Allergy is defined as: an abnormal reaction to normal things.
For example, becoming angry when hearing criticism is like having an allergy. If someone criticizes you, the natural and moderate response is to listen with an open mind and reflect on it calmly. If the criticism is incorrect, you should respond with reason; if it is valid, then you should accept it clearly.
By contrast, becoming upset on hearing criticism is an unbalanced and unnatural response. The first reaction shows a troubled mindset, while the second indicates a healthy one.
Similarly, becoming upset when hearing an opposing slogan, reacting angrily to disrespect, feeling frustrated by obstacles, or being unable to accept ideas different from your own are all examples of emotional reactions. People with these tendencies often remain stuck in hatred and violence against others. They fail to recognize the positive and constructive side of life.
On the other hand, the second approach involves a non-emotional reaction. This is what the Quran calls hajr jameel —graceful avoidance. It means that when something happens against your temperament, you should stay calm, think it through with a clear mind, and respond with careful and deliberate reasoning.
There are different ways to respond moderately. One way might be to simply ignore it. In everyday language, this is expressed by the saying: dogs bark, but the elephant keeps walking.
At times, Hajr Jameel may take the form of responding to the misconduct of an opposing group with good conduct, and countering its low moral behaviour with a higher moral standard. In this way, the other party may be morally overcome. At other times, circumstances may require the use of pressure tactics to compel it to remain silent.
There is no fixed or single form of hajr jameel. Its form will vary depending on the situation. However, whatever form is chosen must be based on careful planning, not impulsive reactions. Its main purpose is to disengage, not to escalate. It will always be rooted in the principle of peace, not violence. It will never be motivated by hatred or revenge, but solely by the desire to handle the matter wisely so that life can return to its normal and intended course.
The goal of hajr jameel is not to focus on external problems but on the individual’s own self. Its aim is not to completely eliminate the issue but to stop it from becoming a personal attack against oneself.
