HAJR JAMEEL
(GRACEFUL AVOIDANCE)
In chapter 73 of the Quran, a command is given in the following words: And patiently endure what they say, and avoid them politely (73:10)
Several Urdu translators have translated this verse as follows:
1. Shah Abdul Qadir:
Aur sehta reh jo kehte rahein, aur chhor un ko bhali tarah ka chhorna.
And bear patiently what they say, and leave them in a dignified manner.
2. Ashraf Ali Thanvi:
Aur yeh log jo baatein karte hain, un par sabr karo, aur khoobsurti ke saath un se alag ho jao.
And be patient over what they say, and part from them in a beautiful manner.
3. Amin Ahsan Islahi:
Aur yeh log jo kuchh kehte hain, us par sabr kar, aur un ko khoobsurti se nazar-andaz kar.
And bear with patience what they say, and turn away from them with grace.
The English translation of the verse would be:
Endure patiently whatever they say, and decently avoid them.
This verse was revealed during the Makkan period. At that time, the polytheists of Makkah held power. They believed that the Prophet and his companions had strayed from their ancestral religion. As a result, they began to persecute the Prophet and his followers, subjecting them to all kinds of suffering. It was in this environment that this Quranic verse was revealed. In it, God commanded them to be patient and to adopt the method of hajr jameel.
The literal meaning of hajr jameel is to part in a beautiful way. This means that persecutors should be dealt with through graceful avoidance. The response to them should not be negative, but instead, involve positive conduct. One should overlook their actions and, in response to their harshness, adopt a better and more gracious manner.
Commentators generally state that the command of patience and hajr jameel was abrogated after the revelation of the verses related to combat. However, this is an incorrect interpretation. Hajr jameel (graceful avoidance) is not an act of helplessness; it is a positive attitude of the believer. In reality, a believer cannot afford to react negatively. The psychology of complaint destroys the spirit of gratitude. Therefore, a believer actively eliminates feelings of complaint to protect the spirit of gratitude within. Similarly, the psychology of hatred destroys the spirit of love. That is why a believer prevents feelings of hatred from growing so that the love of God remains fully intact. Sometimes, this must be done firmly, and other times with wise planning.
Hajr jameel (graceful avoidance) might appear to be aimed at others, but actually, it relates to the self. A believer works hard to keep the higher Islamic values alive within. Under no circumstances should there be any internal weakening.
According to the Quran, God has not placed two hearts within any human being (Quran, 33:4). That is, two opposing emotions cannot develop in the heart at the same time. A heart that harbours hatred for people cannot, at the same time, be filled with love for God. A heart filled with complaints against others can never be overwhelmed with gratitude toward God. A chest that has become a jungle of revengeful feelings cannot experience the sweetness of seeking forgiveness from God. A person who lives in memories of oppression cannot experience the remembrance of the Merciful and Compassionate God.
The truth is that patience and gracious avoidance serve as a form of self-protection for the believer. It’s a way to prevent non-believing tendencies from developing in one’s heart. Therefore, whenever such a situation occurs, a believer affirms: ‘I cannot allow this kind of negative thinking to take root within me.’
To clarify this matter further, some practical examples of gracious avoidance from the lives of the Prophet and his companions will now be shared.
1. A Subtle Example of Graceful Avoidance
It is narrated by Ibn Ishaq that the Quraysh of Makkah used to mock and abuse the Prophet. They stopped calling him by his name Muhammad, which means “the praised one,” and instead referred to him as “Mudhammam,” which means “the condemned one.” According to the narration, the Prophet said:
Are you not amazed at how God has turned away from me the harm of Quraysh? They abuse and slander Mudhammam, while I am Muhammad. (Sirah Ibn Hisham, Volume 2, page 6)
This statement by the Prophet can be understood as follows: if the Quraysh were to say that “Mudhammam is insane,” the Prophet would not take offense and would instead reply, “Your words refer to someone named Mudhammam. My name is Muhammad.” This is a subtle example of graceful avoidance. In this way, a believer protects himself from harm by preventing someone’s abuse from causing negative emotions. The believer’s stance is: I cannot afford to carry negative emotions inside me.
A similarly graceful example can be found in the life of Dr. Zakir Husain, the former president of India. Once, while driving on a street in Delhi, his car lightly bumped into another vehicle and received a dent. The other driver stopped and approached him angrily. Dr. Zakir Husain also stopped and stepped out of his car. The man looked at him with anger and said, “Idiot.” The meaning of this English word is “fool.” Dr. Zakir Husain did not respond with anger. Instead, ignoring the insult, he calmly said:
Sir, I am not Mr Idiot; I am Zakir Husain.
Hearing this, the man’s anger subsided. He quietly said, “Sorry,” then got into his car and drove away.
2. The Treaty of Hudaybiyyah: Wisdom in Submission
After the migration, the incident at Hudaybiyyah occurred. The leaders of Makkah prevented the Prophet and his followers from entering the city. At Hudaybiyyah, a peace treaty was drafted between the two sides. During negotiations, the Quraysh showed both stubbornness and aggression. They demanded that the agreement be based on their one-sided terms. This caused significant distress among the companions. To them, agreeing to such terms seemed like an act of humiliation. At that moment, the Prophet said:
Whatever terms the Quraysh suggest today, as long as they include kindness to kin, I will certainly accept them. (Sirah Ibn Hisham, Vol. 3, p. 358)
Accepting the enemy’s one-sided conditions was very unpleasant. But by saying this, the Prophet transformed a bitter situation into one that could be accepted with dignity.
This statement by the Prophet is a wise example of tactful avoidance. Among the ancient Arabs, maintaining family ties was considered a core human value, while breaking those ties was viewed very negatively. Therefore, it was clear that the Quraysh would not include any clause in the treaty that involved breaking family ties.
In reality, the Prophet wanted to convey that he would seek peace with the Quraysh at any cost. As a respectful way to express this, he stated that he would accept any peace offer from the Quraysh, as long as it did not involve breaking family ties. It was already known ahead of time that they would never include such a condition.
3. A Wise Example of Graceful Avoidance
When the Prophet migrated from Makkah to Madinah, most of Madinah’s residents soon embraced Islam. At that time, there was a man in Madinah named Abdullah bin Ubayy, who was a prominent leader of his era. Although he had accepted Islam along with his tribe, he often made provocative remarks against the Prophet. The Prophet once mentioned this matter to a Muslim from Madinah named Usaid bin Huzayr. In response, he said:
O Messenger of God, be gentle with him. By God, God has brought you to us, and his people were already stringing pearls to place a crown on his head, intending to make him their king. He now feels that you have taken away his leadership. (Sirah Ibn Hisham, Vol. 3, p. 336)
This example shows wise and graceful avoidance. One way to handle Abdullah bin Ubayy’s provocations could have been with strictness. But the companion’s response showed that harshness wasn’t needed. Graceful avoidance was enough to settle the matter.
4. A Hidden Layer of Grace
The earlier examples of graceful avoidance are those that appear directly in words. Now consider an example that lies between the lines. When graceful avoidance is used in any situation, there is often an unspoken element involved. Although not verbally expressed, it remains present as a key part of the action. One example of this is the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah.
At Hudaybiyyah, the Prophet stayed for two weeks. During this time, the Quraysh committed several acts of excess. For example, they isolated and killed a companion with an arrow. On another occasion, while the Prophet was leading congregational prayer with his companions, some members of the Quraysh arrived and started shooting arrows at them.
Despite such provocations, the Prophet entered into a ten-year peace treaty with the Quraysh. The terms of the treaty were deeply unpleasant to Umar ibn al-Khattab. He went to Abu Bakr and said:
O Abu Bakr, isn’t he the Messenger of God? He replied: Yes. Umar asked: Are we not believers in God? He answered: Yes. Umar inquired: Are they not non-believers in God? He responded: Yes. Then why should we accept humiliation in our religion? (Sirah Ibn Kathir, Vol. 3, p. 320)
According to narrations, Umar voiced the same concerns directly to the Prophet. What warrants reflection here is that the Prophet, despite the excesses of the Quraysh, agreed to a peace treaty with one-sided terms. This was based on an important Islamic wisdom: to create a moderate environment through a peace agreement so that the message of Islam could proceed effectively.
This wisdom, however, was not included in the peace treaty, nor was it announced publicly at Hudaybiyyah, even despite Umar’s dissatisfaction and that of other companions.
This is the second aspect of graceful avoidance—one that always stays hidden. It can’t be fully conveyed in words. If it were expressed openly, its true meaning would be lost.
In such situations, people have only two correct options. Either they should be wise enough to understand the meaning between the lines without it being openly stated, or, if they lack that awareness, they should trust in their leader’s insight. They should, based on trust and goodwill, believe that what their leader has said is surely rooted in deep wisdom. Our responsibility is to follow our leader, not to question his honesty.
5. The Strategic Wisdom Behind the Treaty of Hudaybiyyah
The Treaty of Hudaybiyyah seemed, on the surface, to be a peace agreement made under pressure from the enemy. However, it held an unspoken goal, which was to avoid conflict and allow time for constructive growth. If this had been stated explicitly in the agreement or if the Prophet had announced it to his companions at that time, the purpose of the treaty would have been completely lost.
Such objectives are always pursued without openly declaring them, not with explicit declarations. Therefore, the Prophet remained silent. It was only later, when the practical results became clear, that people realized the great wisdom hidden within the treaty. This is the very truth that Abu Bakr al-Siddiq expressed later in these words.
There was no victory greater in Islam than the victory of Hudaybiyyah. But on the day of the agreement, people failed to understand what was happening between Muhammad and his Lord. Human beings are impulsive, and God is not impulsive like humans. He allows matters to develop to the point He intends. (Maghazi al-Waqidi, Vol. 2, p. 610)
6. Hajr Jameel as a Principle of Purposeful Conduct
Graceful avoidance (hajr jameel) is not just a way of protecting oneself. It is a deliberate, thoughtful, and consistent moral stance of someone with purpose. A person with purpose has a clear destination in mind, and achieving that goal is his top priority.
Because of this, he distances himself from all distractions along the way so he can reach his final destination without any hindrances. As everyone knows, the people of ancient Makkah caused great suffering to the Prophet. They persecuted him and his companions to such an extent that he was forced to leave Makkah with them. Even after this migration, they kept their aggression.
Eventually, the time arrived when the Prophet, with God’s help, became the conqueror of Makkah. This was a moment when, according to the customs of the time, it would have been entirely justifiable to punish those responsible for past oppression. However, the Prophet chose to follow the path of hajr jameel.
History shows that after the conquest of Makkah, when these Quraysh offenders appeared before the Prophet, he asked them: What do you think I will do with you? They replied: You are a noble brother and the son of a noble brother.
The Prophet then said: I will tell you what Prophet Yusuf (Joseph) said to his brothers: No blame shall be upon you today (Quran 12:92). He then declared: Go, all of you are free.
In this way, he granted freedom to all those who had previously been his declared enemies. This action by the Prophet was a prime example of purposeful leadership. His goal was to purify the House of God from idols and lead the people of Makkah away from polytheism and toward the worship of the one true God.
By turning hostile individuals into friendly ones, he laid the groundwork for the revolution he was sent to initiate. The Prophet’s one-sided kindness led all the people of Makkah to embrace Islam. The narrator states:
They appeared as if they had risen from their graves, then embraced Islam. (Al-Sunan al-Kubra by al-Bayhaqi, Hadith No. 18275-18276)
If, on the other hand, the Prophet had taken revenge for their earlier cruelty, a cycle of retaliation would have started. One act of revenge would have triggered another, and the situation would have become so negative that the entire constructive mission would have fallen apart.
