THE UPBRINGING OF CHILDREN
Parents play a crucial role in training their children and fostering positive personalities during their formative years. CPS literature and videos serve as valuable resources to guide this process.
In a Western context, I encountered a Muslim family who expressed their desire for their children to stay with us for a few days and receive an Islamic upbringing. While I appreciated their interest, I declined the suggestion, believing that such an approach could be artificial. I firmly believe that meaningful tasks are best accomplished naturally, as unnatural methods often lead to unintended consequences.
This belief was reinforced by an incident that occurred in April 1981 during an international conference in Barbados. As part of the programme organized by the local Muslim community, a gentleman brought his 12-year-old son along. The child positioned himself outside the gathering, facing away from me. When someone approached him and suggested that he join the group, the boy responded with a nonchalant, “Not me,” implying that he didn’t care. This incident holds significant symbolic value for all Muslim families in today’s era.
In our society, individuals often work diligently to earn money and then spend a substantial portion of their earnings on their children, ostensibly in the name of love. However, this approach can be detrimental to the children’s well-being. It’s important to recognize that true love involves nurturing and guiding children’s development, rather than simply indulging their desires.
Psychologically, the first ten years of a child’s life are considered the “formative period.” During this phase, the personality that develops shapes the child’s future and influences their life in profound ways. Unfortunately, in today’s world, parents often inadvertently harm their children during this critical period, disguising their actions as love. Based on my experience, the primary concern lies in the lack of seriousness among contemporary parents regarding their children’s upbringing. Their efforts are often superficial, limited to providing Islamic attire like round caps for boys and scarves for girls. They mistakenly believe that this alone constitutes a complete Islamic upbringing. However, I offer practical advice for parents genuinely concerned about their children’s development.
Firstly, it is crucial to avoid pampering children in the name of love, just as one would abstain from anything forbidden. Pampering disconnects children from the realities of life, hindering their ability to develop a realistic approach. Moreover, it fosters a self-centered personality, which becomes a significant obstacle to achieving a successful life.
Secondly, it is vital to recognize that the child’s initial formative period is spent with their parents. The personality that is formed during this period becomes deeply ingrained. Parents must understand that mistakes made in their child’s upbringing during this phase cannot be easily compensated for in the future.
Corrective measures may be possible under exceptional circumstances involving shocking experiences that can become a turning point for the child. Although such instances are rare, they can lead to a positive revolution in a person’s life. Therefore, providing a nurturing and balanced upbringing during the child’s formative years is crucial.
Based on my experience, I advise parents to diligently introduce our organization’s printed and online material to their children. Encourage them to read it repeatedly and engage with our curated audio and video content, which are accessible on our website www.cpsglobal.org.
Participating in this introductory programme is essential for parents who are genuinely interested in their children’s upbringing and education. No magical measures can effectively reform children if they are not provided with this opportunity.
