CHAPTER 1

THE WISDOM OF LIFE

What is your advice to parents of young children?

The advice is that you should not favour your children at all. They should be given a chance of self-development. If they fall, let them fall and get back on their feet. I had met a Parsi in Pune about whom I learnt that he once made his child stand on the table and asked him to come. When the child leaped towards his father, he moved behind and the child fell down. Then he said to his son, ‘Do not trust anyone; not even your father. Trust your own abilities.’ This is a realistic approach to parenthood.

Why is it so difficult to accept defeat?

It is difficult because people are not ready to accept the role of the law of nature in deciding a result, be it success or failure. Man is often governed by his ego and whims, which makes him a case of failure. The logo of The Times of India bears the following inscription, ‘Let truth prevail’.

On the same lines I would say in real life, the principle to be followed is: ‘Let the law of nature prevail’. If, however, we desire that our ego prevails, it would be hard for us to accept failure and draw a positive lesson from it. On the contrary, if we accept our shortcomings, not only are we able to accept failure but also work towards self-improvement.

If someone misuses freedom beyond a limit, we must react, else we would be taken for granted. Reaction checks the continued misuse of freedom —

what is your opinion on this?

The misunderstanding here is that reaction ‘checks’ the misuse of freedom, whereas in reality, reaction only aggravates the situation and this leads to the development of a chain reaction. In the tribal age, a vicious cycle of revenge used to get created and a chain reaction used to continue for hundreds of years leading to bloodshed and in-fighting.

We should think of what options we have and should unilaterally exercise patience. I once met a person who paid me a visit from Basti, UP. He had obtained a license and bought a lorry. The minister of his area saw that it was very useful and parked the lorry in his own house as the license was taken in his name. He later started taking the revenues that the lorry used to earn. The man objected to the minister and the minister ridiculed him by saying that the lorry was his. This man came to me for advice and I said to him:

Remember, every revenge shall be avenged!

So, the question is till when would keep on fighting, knowing that one’s revenge will be met with another revenge. Will one continue fighting till the dying day? The above man followed my advice and consulted me on what he should do with the money he was left with. I told him to start a business with whatever he had. He accepted my suggestion and left. After a few years, when he met me, he had significantly grown his wealth. I told him that if he had avenged, the minister’s sons and grandsons would have killed him. The great wisdom of life, therefore, is in unilaterally putting a full stop to any form of reaction.

When does self-respect become ego?

Some take self-respect as an excuse to play a demanding and revenge-seeking role. What they do not realize is that being demanding and revenge-oriented is a negative manifestation of ‘ego,’ which has no place in Islam. Islam teaches its proponents to be firm when it concerns a duty; not to be stubborn in demanding a right.

A duty-oriented mindset looks at fulfilling the rights of others whereas the mindset of seeking revenge simply aggravates the negative effects of a person’s ego. A very important principle to keep in mind is that doing one’s duty is a virtue only when it does not create another issue.

The Companions of the Prophet had migrated from Makkah to Madinah. When Makkah was brought back into the fold of Islam, many Companions said that they should take back their property which they had left behind in Makkah. When the Prophet came to know this, he announced that they all should immediately return to Madinah – he did not allow the redeeming of lost property, as it would have opened up a new chapter of avenging what was once lost. Those who were occupying the property would not have given it up so easily.

During my days at my home village, a person once usurped an area encompassing thirty trees from our orchard. A village neighbour, when he learnt of this, told me that he would help me retrieve the ownership on gunpoint! I refused. I told him that retrieval would not put an end to the chain reaction that would begin.

In essence, we must always think if a new problem is getting created or getting resolved. After thinking on these lines, we should determine our course of action.

What defines a good citizen?

In my view, a good citizen is one who has a predictable character to assess the comfort of others as well. His fellow human beings can be confident of his behaviour, beforehand. For example, while planting saplings, a gardener assumes that no one would harm what he is planting. A gardener expects this good character in his fellow human beings. Similarly, if you are driving on the road and do not blow the horn excessively because people would be bothered by it, you pay heed to the needs of others and can be rightfully called as a good citizen.

What is the sense of accountability and how do we develop this?

There is no answer possible for this in the secular culture. The idea of accountability inherently brings about the idea of a Creator, an all-powerful and all-aware Being before whom we would be accountable. It is a matter of developing conscientiousness.

Should I stop getting offended for everything?

Yes, absolutely! If we criticize the parents of a person, they would get offended. God does not help such people. God helps those who take themselves to such levels of objectivity that they are not offended at all. God loves the one who does not get offended whatever be the situation–when a person does this, all angels would rush in his direction, exclaiming: ‘Here is the kind of a person we were looking for!’ Trivial matters should not offend you.

Who suffers from inferiority complex?

Each person who tries to crush another suffers from inferiority complex. A political party that spends resources to crush its opponent, in reality, suffers from inferiority complex. On the contrary, a party that is confident about its approach would not waste time in demeaning its competitor; rather it would work towards strengthening its own approach and agenda in order to win.

Similarly, one needs to develop a sense of self-confidence. The sense must be so strong that nothing that anyone says–positive or negative–should leave behind an impact on one’s personality. In doing so, one trains one’s mind to remain positive and strengthens its intellectual abilities.

How can a person identify his shortcomings?

In order to identify one’s own shortcomings, we must possess an objective mindset and should not get offended by what another person tells us about ourselves. We should imagine the other person to be like a mirror, which gives us an exact reflection of ourselves.

Either one becomes angry on criticism or overjoyed upon being praised; both these situations are improper. Criticism should be welcomed and due thought should be given to the message being conveyed without becoming disturbed by its tenor. However, one gets offended when one’s ego is touched and that happens even when someone speaks the truth.

Being a realist does not only mean to not react, as our dormant ego may still get aroused on provocation. A true realist is one who has an awakened mind, one that is able to gauge the slightest of deviation from the path of realism. He accepts feedback as it is and introspects to realize and overcome his shortcomings.

How do I control my anger?

I have spent significant time on this topic and my conclusion is that nature has instilled a special mechanism in a person by which he can control his anger. When angry, all one has to do is observe silence. Anger incites a psychological fire within a person and in the resulting rage, he is not able to control himself. But when one becomes silent in moments of anger, the rage instantly begins to take a downward trend. So, when someone provokes us, we must simply become quiet.

At all such times, I myself do not react and I have experienced that anger takes no time in subsiding. Reaction leads to chain reaction and not reacting stops the chain reaction, but in order to stop the chain reaction, one needs the power of self-control. Only the spiritually strong can break the chain reaction in a situation involving provocation and rage. It is a sign of great strength. As per a tradition of the Prophet Muhammad:

The strong man is not one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is one who controls himself in a fit of rage. (Sahih al-Bukhari, hadith no. 5763)

It has also been alluded to in the Quran that one may earn a position in Paradise by being forgiving at times of anger:

for those who spend, both in prosperity and adversity, who restrain their anger and are forgiving towards their fellow men—God loves those who do good works. (Quran 3:135)

Even I used to get angry in my early days, but my anger led me to self-thinking, which made me realize that anger yields no result. I then concluded that it was futile to waste energy on anger.

During 1975, I had written an article for the publication, Al-Jamiat, where I had narrated the story of how I was invited to Ahmedabad by a young Muslim engineer who had set up a factory there. The engineer was a very competent person. As he was showing me around the place, we came across a new kind of machinery which was produced at that time only for export purpose. While demonstrating the prowess of the machine, he first pushed on a button and its flywheel started rotating at top speed. He then pushed another button and the flywheel immediately changed its direction and started rotating opposite to the previous position. As I saw this, it struck me that when matter (or machine) has the quality to change its direction within seconds, then a human being should have this ability manifold. After this incident, I started training my mind to change my emotion within seconds whenever a situation requiring so arises.

Hence, in moments of rage when our natural tendency is to speak or react aggressively, we need to instantaneously change the direction of our flywheel and remain silent. Without doubt, the anger shall dissipate and we shall be in a position to prudently handle the situation.

How do I build patience?

If you become a realist, patience will follow. We must learn that things are never going to be according to our desire; they would be according to the laws of nature. I have always been very fond of trees and in my youth. I once wanted to see a green tree in the courtyard of my home. I thought that if I planted a sapling, it would take a long time to grow into a tree. So, I went to my garden and selected a fully-grown tree. I then employed several labourers to dig it up and then transport it to my courtyard where I had it planted. But the next morning when I looked at the tree, I found that its leaves had begun to wither, and after a few days the whole tree dried up.

A similar story had featured in the Readers’ Digest where a reverend Father had attempted a similar planting exercise. He was very happy and was thinking to himself: I have travelled a long journey in a single day. Planting a sapling or a seed would have been a lengthy business and now I have found a quick way of having a lush green tree. Naturally, he was disappointed. One of his friends visited him and found him in a very sad mood. On being asked the reason, he said: ‘I am in a hurry, but God isn’t.’

This story informs us about the law of nature, which is based on gradual development and not on sudden leaps. One who follows this law of nature will be successful, while the one who fails to follow it, will never succeed. If we analyze what happened, we would realize that whatever happened was what was going to happen; there was nothing else that could have happened.

This law of nature does not exclusively apply to trees: it is a universal law. In every field, we need to realize that nature shall follow its own course and consequently it would take its own time to get the desired result. Only then can we observe patience and calm; otherwise one cannot attain any worthwhile goal by deviating from laws of nature and realistic thinking.

What can I do to bring value to this world?

There is a very illustrative lesson from the life of George Bernard Shaw, the Irish playwright and critic. In earlier times, Ireland was not a place for quality education. Once an Irish person expressed his despair to Shaw about the community lagging behind in education. Upon enquiring, Shaw learnt that the person was also uneducated. Shaw told him to first go and secure education for himself so that at least one person in the community shall no longer remain illiterate. So, the message is: Identify where the world lacks value and then fill that gap by first starting from yourself.

What wisdom can we gain from nature?

Nature manifests wisdom in all phenomena. If we can observe nature and understand its language, if we are prepared to extract lessons from these kinds of news items, then certainly we shall live in peace and tranquillity.

A human being is an imperfect being in the midst of a perfect world. The stars and the planets, wind and water, trees and animals, are all just as they should be. They do not deviate from the path prescribed for them in nature. The very fact that our imperfect human world lies in the midst of a much larger, perfect natural world, shows us what our aim in life should be. We must first try to understand the world around us, and then strive to base our lives on the principles that function in the rest of the universe.

The law of nature in this world is that difficulties and problems will always exist alongside happiness and joy. One cannot be detached from the other. Just as we cannot detach thorns from a rose plant, similarly we cannot detach unpleasant circumstances from situations of joy. No person can enjoy a life of absolute comfort such as when he is completely devoid of sorrow. But this should not worry us. As the Quran says:

With every hardship there is ease. (Quran 94:5)

Lesson from Flowing Water

Human life can be likened to a flowing river. In the river fresh water is being added to the existing water at every moment. This everyday phenomenon is responsible for the freshness of the river water.

If a person’s life is like flowing water, in which fresh water continues to be added every moment, then it will always remain fresh and will never become stale. Our life should not be monotonous, we need to always fill it with fresh activities and change our routine every now and then. Water which is lying in a closed place, where fresh water is not being added, will lose its freshness. It will become unhealthy. In this matter, the flowing river is a healthy message given by nature and the experience of human history testifies to this in practice.

Lesson from the Honeybee

It is the honeybee’s culture to travel every day and reach places where flowers are available for it. The bee extracts nectar from the flower and returns to its abode. It does not care about anything else.

Where there are flowers, there are also other things like thorns, leaves, and stem. It simply extracts nectar from the flower and returns without objecting to the thorns. This behaviour of the honeybee gives a lesson to man in a symbolic manner: Live like the honeybee. Extract what is good for you and leave what is unwanted for you. Do not waste your time in complaining and protesting about it.

People generally get offended upon hearing criticism against them. This behaviour is quite against the scheme of nature. In doing so, they pay a heavy price. They deprive themselves of the “nectar” that is available for them in everything and every experience — a good lesson to be learnt and a wise advice you can forward. Every person’s environment has “nectar”. One should take the “nectar” and like the honeybee, ignore the “thorns”.

Living with a focused mind is very important for every man and woman. Only a focused mind is a developed mind. When you get offended or provoked, it means you have allowed another person to disrupt your focus and break your concentration. You should neither be offended nor get provoked. You should adopt the honeybee culture.

My Spiritual Tree

In front of my house, in New Delhi, there is a full-grown tree, in whose shade I am in the habit of sitting. I call it my spiritual tree. In fact, this tree is my teacher, although a silent one. The previous summer, this tree, like many other trees, shed its green leaves. Gradually, it became simply like dry wood. I was doubtful whether it would ever again turn green. But in the spring, the whole scenario changed. My spiritual tree again became a tree with lush green foliage.

The rebirth of this tree was a great lesson. My spiritual tree turned into a speaking tree. It gave me a significant message: “Don’t be hopeless in any situation. After every dry season, there is a good harvest. After every spell of hopelessness, there is new hope, and after every failure, there is a great success. After every dark night, there is a bright morning.”

My spiritual tree never left its allotted space. It did not protest against anyone; it never demanded that others find it new, living leaves. It remained at the same place and started a new process within itself. What was this process? The process was to get its food from below as well as from sunlight. The strategy worked. The whole of nature came to its aid and after some months, it gained its lost greenery once again. This is the lesson I learned from my spiritual tree.

No protest, no complaint, no demand, no street activism or stage activism: simply trust your own natural abilities and work silently. Try to reshape your destiny. And very soon you will be glad to discover that you have regained your life.

In this life often, you face experiences when a person abuses you, troubles you, provokes you. In that case you have two ways of responding to them. One is the way of ‘tit for tat’. Just as you have been troubled, you do the same to the other person. You also abuse him, trouble him or harm him. You are provoked to another’s provocation. The one who responds in this manner develops a negative personality in him. On the contrary, another person is the one who responded in a positive manner to negative behaviour: the one who was abused by others but himself did not abuse anyone. Others tormented him but he did not torment others. The one who was harmed, but did not harm others. These are the characteristics of a truly enlightened and wise person, one who has learned well from nature.

What would you choose from these three:

money, health or peace?

The first choice is health. By birth, man is a weak creature. He cannot tolerate even a minor disturbance to his health. A person who does not enjoy good health cannot do anything properly. It is therefore rightly said, ‘Health is wealth’. One who has good health, can accomplish all tasks in life. According to a hadith, the Prophet said:

Ask God for pardon and health, for verily, none has been given anything better than health after faith. (Sunan al- Tirmidhi, hadith no. 3558)

According to another hadith, the Prophet is said to have remarked;

And in God’s eyes praying for good health is dearer to praying for anything else. (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, hadith no. 3548)

Some people believe that by giving higher education to a Muslim girl, makes her rebellious and takes her away from the Muslim tradition. What is your opinion on this?

I strongly disagree with this. The women in my family, for example, have received higher education. My granddaughters have either completed or are pursuing their doctorates and have been an integral part of my mission to spread peace and spirituality. My daughter, Professor Farida Khanam, has tirelessly worked for translating my works into English including the Quran and its commentary.

A large number of learned women are mentioned in history as authorities on various Islamic sciences such as Hadith, Islamic jurisprudence, Seerah (biography) of the Prophet, commentary on the Quran, and so on.

Those who do not educate their girls need to change their mindset. The issue is not that giving higher education to girls would make them rebellious; the real issue is that parents are unable to train their children in a rational manner. They only know and speak the language of dos and don’ts and impose other such restrictions, which fails to address the mind of children.

Islam attaches great importance to learning and education and considers it to be the starting point of every human activity. The female members of a family must therefore be given all opportunities to learn to grow and play a constructive role in the progress and development of society at large.

Is religion necessary in today’s world?

Religion undoubtedly is more than a necessity for this world. The strife in this world is because people have become materialists. The aim of religion is to make people spiritual instead of being materialists. If the world has to have peace, religion should become more widespread.

What causes depression and indecisiveness?

Depression and indecisiveness are the outcome of not being able to understand reality.

Often people see the truth or right and wrong in an absolute sense. However, the reality is that the truth or right and wrong are relative in nature; some may adhere to it in one way and some may adhere to it in another way. It is this difference in the way the model is observed, which causes indecisiveness.

For example, if the boss does not listen to the subordinate, it ends up making the subordinate angry because he is not able to make his senior realize what he feels is the truth. We must let the reality prevail. In practical life, one person is a giver and another a receiver. The one who gives holds leverage over the one who receives. So, imagining that the giver would listen and follow the receiver’s model is being impractical.

Once Mr. Nelson Mandela visited Delhi for a conference. I was given a ticket to visit the conference and when I reached the venue hall, I realized that I had a back seat. I expected my seat to be in the front few rows and was not appreciative of it until I realized that the arrangement was in line with the prioritization done by the organizer. This prioritization by others was irrespective of my self-image. I realized that ‘truth’ is a relative term, which we must be prepared to re-discover. Reality in the eyes of God is absolute, but reality in society is a relative term. This is so because man has freedom and he is free to use or misuse his freedom in society. For instance, if I want a house, it is a realistic target but if I want a house free of outdoor nuisance, it is not solely determined by me and therefore it is an unrealistic target. I have no control over others causing nuisance on the streets in front of my house. I will have to delink the two, otherwise I will succumb to depression because of non-achievement of an unrealistic target.

In this world, one invariably suffers losses, even Mr. Donald Trump, President of the United States of America, the most powerful person in this world is reported to have said that he felt like he is living in a cocoon in the White House with all the protocols and restrictions. That is his reality. He can be the most powerful person in this world but he cannot change his reality.

Everyone suffers losses. If loss is considered a matter of fact, everything falls into place, otherwise not. In order to determine reality, we must not get emotional. Being objective about reality entails acceptance of what we have received. Any other criterion to evaluate reality is incorrect.

We should learn the practical way to approach life. How workable should our targets be and not give into frustration when things are not happening our way. There are always two kinds of factors in every situation, extrinsic and intrinsic. For example, we can be the most responsible driver on the road but we can still land into a fatal accident due to someone else’s mistake. Similarly, we can be the best prepared for an exam but we can never actually have any influence over how the question paper is designed. We can sit for an interview fully prepared but we can never actually guarantee that we will be selected or how the selection committee will review our candidature. The realistic approach is to factor in the extrinsic elements in life and accept them as a reality over which we have no control. This is the only way we will not depress ourselves asking questions such as ‘Why me?’ and ‘Why isn’t it working after all my efforts?’

What are the signs that you are wasting your life?

The worldly criterion to evaluate the success of life is to measure it against results. If you are getting results for the goals you had set out for yourself, then life is not being wasted away. Otherwise, you are wasting your time.

It is often said to aim high, but the correct approach is to aim realistically high. It is only when our ambitions are realistic in nature that we will observe desired results due to our hard work. The approach should not be to work hard towards anything but to work hard towards what is ‘workable’. We must therefore envisage realistic and unemotional targets. A realistic target would never lead to frustration whereas an unrealistic target would cause depression and frustration.

What is patience?

In my view, patience is the ability to remain normal when I cease to be effective. This retains normalcy and intellectual balance in situations where I know I am no longer effective. In doing so, I save myself and allow my intellectual activities to continue unhindered. Patience is exercised for oneself and not for others.

Patience is the virtue of exercising restraint in trying situations, which enables the individual to proceed towards worthy goals, unaffected by adverse circumstances or repeated provocations. If he allows himself to become upset by opposition, taunts or other kinds of unpleasantness, he will never reach his goals. He will simply become enmeshed in trivialities.

The only way to deal with the irksome side of daily living is to observe patience. Patience will ensure that whenever one has some bitter experience, he would opt for the way of tolerance rather than that of reaction to provocation. It will enable one to absorb shocks and to continue, undeterred, on one’s onward journey.

Patience, as well as being a practical solution to the problems faced in the outside world, is also a means of positive character building. One who fails to exercise patience, gives free rein to negative thoughts and feelings, consequently he develops a negative personality, while one who remains patient is morally bolstered by his own positive thoughts and feelings and as a result develops a positive personality.

Patience is no retreat. Patience only amounts to taking the initiative along the path of wisdom and reason as opposed to the path of emotions. Patience gives one the strength to restrain one’s emotions in delicate situations and use wisdom to find a course of action along result-oriented lines.

The present world is fashioned in such a way that everyone is necessarily faced with unpleasant matters at one time or another. Things, which are unbearable, have somehow to be borne; harrowing events have to be witnessed and all kinds of pain have to be suffered. In such situations, succumbing to impatience leads to unnecessary emotional involvement, which is always counter-productive, while a demonstration of patience has a healing, beneficial effect, allowing one to tread the path of discreet avoidance. Success in the present world is destined only for those who adopt the path of patience in adverse circumstances. The entire spirit of the Quran is in consonance with this concept. The Quran attaches great importance to patience. In fact, patience is set above all other Islamic virtues with the exceptional promise of reward beyond measure:

Truly, those who persevere patiently will be requited without measure. (Quran 39:10)

Patience implies a peaceful response or reaction, whereas impatience implies a violent response.

What are your spiritual values?

Each individual has different spiritual values because the meaning of spirituality differs for all. However, there are two major schools of spiritual discipline: one based on meditation and the other on contemplation. The former relates to the heart and the latter relates to the mind.

Spirituality of the heart is generally taken to mean the opposite of worldliness. It advocates only one way to preserve one’s spirituality, and that is to retire to a desolate place, leaving behind one’s homes representing material life and undertake meditation in an environment where there is no provocation. It is this viewpoint, which is presented in the well-known book titled The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari.

I subscribe to the school of contemplative spirituality. Therefore, for me the biggest thing is intellectual development, whereas for those whose spirituality is based on heart, peace is the biggest thing. I want the process of thinking in my mind to continue non-stop and therefore I ignore all kinds of nuisance.

Man is an intellectual being. He is endowed with a mind, which is his greatest faculty. Real spirituality or contemplative spirituality is that which has the power to address our minds. Any kind of spirituality attained at a level lesser than that of our mind is not true spirituality.

According to me, true spirituality is based on contemplation or reflection or pondering, which has all to do with intellectual activity. The journey of spirituality begins with the urge to search for the truth. When a seeker discovers the truth and learns the creation plan of the Creator, his life enters a new phase, i.e. that of building of the human personality according to spiritual principles. This journey is entirely intellectual in nature. Its quest is two-fold, one is to solve the riddle of why, all men and women undergo negative experiences in this world and the other is to offer positive solutions. It addresses the paradox of human beings having been given the freedom to make their own moral choices, and their frequent misuse of this freedom – a course of action which causes them to repeatedly face situations in which people do each other harm; losses are incurred because of others’ injustice; severe provocations are suffered because of untoward experiences. At such times spirituality teaches us to convert negativity into positivity through the art of conversion.

True spirituality, an intellectual activity, is a science of inner development and material things indirectly contribute towards that development. In fact, material life is made more meaningful by the pro-active role played by spirituality in intellectual refinement and the consequent progress of humanity. Spirituality does not, as some may imagine, arrest the thinking process, but rather enhances intellectual activity in the complete sense of the word.

Why do people suffer from inferiority complex?

I think it is a result of artificial thinking and happens because of not knowing oneself. Thinking that one is superior or inferior – both are a result of artificial thinking. One’s thinking should become so developed that we are able to save ourselves from both kinds of complexes. We need to realize ourselves and our potential such that we do not position ourselves as superior or inferior to anyone.

How should we learn to respect all?

We must become hate-free. In social life, other than religion there are several reasons that cause differences. They are a part of life. When such a difference is against us, we get angry and develop hatred. We will have to understand that difference is a part of life, it is a part of creation. We will have to therefore accept it, there is no other option.

What is solution to despair?

Why does despair take place? Despair is a result of lack of deep thinking. In my own experience, there are several instances which led me to despair. Today when I look back and think that whatever happened was best for me. Why does this happen? Because man has limitations and does not have knowledge of the future. When I think in retrospect, those situations that led me to despair turned out to be the points from which I gained greater success. The best solution is to keep faith in God and remember what Caliph Ali said: ‘Whatever happened, happened for the good.’

Is ego-based action self-justified action?

Self-justified action is a result of lack of introspection. At all times, one should feel, “Maybe, I am wrong!” Only a person with such an attitude will study and discuss. After going through this process, what his evaluation will be right. If a decision is arrived at without going through this process, it would not be the right way of formulating an opinion. A person must examine and re-examine his ways in order to detect his mistakes. This is equally applicable to both religious and secular areas. Without this, one cannot develop right thinking.

How can we develop our mind and learn to respond positively in delicate situations?

Developing one’s mind is both easy and difficult. It is easy if one introspects, but if one does not introspect, then it becomes difficult. If one realizes that a situation is not in one’s control and would be subject to some external factors, this mindset will inculcate patience in him and he will be able to tackle the situation in a positive manner. However, in order to do so, one must stay alert and save oneself from negative reaction.

Why do you not speak against atrocities committed against Muslims?

The Prophet is enjoined thus in the Quran:

Arise and give warning…shun uncleanness. (Quran 74:2-5)

Here ‘uncleanness’ means negative thought arising from others’ negative behaviour towards the Prophet. This injunction therefore implies that even the Prophet was required to only perform the duty of conveying the message of Islam and was enjoined by God to ignore atrocity and unpleasantness from others. God had directed him to focus solely on his work.

How do we bring back our enthusiasm towards something?

This is not a problem; fluctuation is part of human nature and will always be there. The feeling that my enthusiasm has fallen low re-energizes the mind and motivates one to carry on work with renewed vigour.

I am very dejected in life and everyone calls me so.

Can I commit suicide and will God forgive me?

Such a state of mind prevails when one is not able to discover oneself. You need to decondition yourself from what society has told you and figure out things for yourself. God shall not forgive you if you commit suicide – this is not an option. It is clearly stated in a hadith that when a person commits suicide, he will be punished by God. The only option is to discover your potential and to avail of the opportunities around you. Committing suicide is like casting a ‘Vote of No Confidence’ against God and this is not acceptable in Islam and from a person who has faith in God’s plan. The Quran says:

God does not charge a soul with more than it can bear. (Quran 2:286)

We must always be hopeful of God, keep our trust in Him and move on in our journey of self-discovery.

Why are today’s generation dissatisfied with Islam?

The method of our scholars is to present a list of dos and don’ts, which the younger generation does not understand. Traditional scholars show Islam as a superstitious religion, instead of basing it on reason. Today’s youth have reason-based thinking. If the teachers of today use the language of earlier times, the minds of the addressee would not be addressed. This is a matter of communication gap. According to the Quran:

Speak to them in such terms as will address their minds. (Quran 4:63)

My experience is that if we talk to them in such a language that addresses them, then they do understand. Otherwise they will remain indifferent. So, it is an issue of the right kind of communication and not of dissatisfaction.

How can we make our mind free of complaints?

Complaint culture is the most depraved culture. I was once thinking that my body has 78 organs that are ensuring its full functioning. All this is not based on my instruction, it is rather automatic. If I had to manage it myself, I would not have been alive! There are numerous such things – life support system around us provides us with life- giving sustenance. If a person discovers and realizes these things, he will begin to think of living in complaints as the most degraded plane. How can a person who lives in the midst of so many blessings, he forget all of this and lead a life of complaints? The most effective way to root out complaints is to remember the blessings of God, which you receive every moment of your existence.

Often we are surrounded by negative people, which sometimes derails us – how can we save ourselves from derailment and stay positive?

You should think it is a great blessing of God that you have been saved. If you eventually stay positive while being surrounded by negative people, it is an occasion of being grateful to God, as He saved you from becoming thankless. When I see a thorn, I think God could have made me a thorn but He did not make me a thorn or a mosquito! He made me a human being and a positive thinker. Occasions to thank God for are so numerous that one should remain grateful to God and should be immersed in positivity. This is a matter of developing the right way of thinking.

Negative experiences will keep happening to a person till his death and there will always be traces of negativity – how shall such a person qualify for Paradise?

The goal to become positive is full of struggle and this struggle deals with negative situations and happenings. This is what a spiritual struggle is all about. This is why negative items provide support to us in our journey to become spiritual. If there were no spiritual struggle with negative thoughts, a positive mind would not be formed in the first place. If there is no struggle, life will stagnate.

How can a person become wise?

I can narrate my own finding – wisdom was always my subject and I think that no standard dictionary can define wisdom precisely. I have discovered what wisdom is. I define wisdom as ‘the ability to discover the relevant by sorting out the irrelevant’.

Time to time, I continue to feel the emotional pain of losing my kids at an early age. How should I manage it?

The Quran tells a formula for this: if children die at an early age, they will attain Paradise. Thus you must known that they are very fortunate – their place in Paradise has already been determined and now you have to make yourself paradisiacal so that you can meet your children after death.

How can a person maintain positivity always?

My simply formula is: when I get a negative thought, feel offended or angry, I begin to think who will suffer out of the manifestation of my negative thinking? Every time, I realize that I will be the sufferer and not the other person. So, if I will be the sufferer then why should I harm myself? All negative thoughts only make us suffer – so why should we indulge in it. This idea keeps my positive thinking alive.

Should we not accuse those who do wrong to us?

These days, Muslims are engaged in bad-mouthing. Muslims have to decide whether or not they will follow divine commandments. When the Prophet Muhammad was in Makkah, severe atrocities were inflicted on him, but when he reached Madinah he never spoke ill of his Makkan opponents. The first sermon of the Prophet upon his migration to Madinah does not carry a word of how people from Makkah cast him away or of any atrocity he faced at their hands. The Prophet’s first sermon in Madinah was only about the message he had received from God about the reality of life and death.

Muslims have to realize that God will not be pleased by their negative thinking for others. He will be pleased only if they follow the Sunnah of the Prophet, that is, forgetting complaints and grievances.

Is there any possibility to get a ‘perfect’ partner in this world?

A perfect partner is a thing to groom, not to find or receive. Study tells that every man and every woman has been created according to a different mould. When no two have been created alike according to the creation plan of God, how will you exactly find the person whom you desire? You can only make your marriage favourable by training the person whom you get married to. One condition for this is that you accept criticism from your spouse in a positive sense, without getting offended.

How to increase your power of grasp?

The more a person saves himself from distraction, the more his power of grasp develops. The worst thing is to live in distractions. A person can know of his distractions on his own. The more focused a thinker you are, the more you are able to set aside non-trivial issues as secondary and the more you will be able to develop your ability to grasp.

How can I become a recipient of wisdom?

Wisdom is written on every leaf of a tree, on every atom of a molecule! All you need to do is to develop the ability to ‘read’ wisdom. People have become violent and that is what leads to problems. If one becomes as peaceful as a bird, then there will be no issue. The Prophet said:

God will settle those people in Paradise whose hearts will be like the hearts of birds. (Sahih Muslim, hadith no. 2840)

This means that one who lives with the heart of a bird in this world will get a place in Paradise in the Hereafter. The matter revolves around your expanding your horizon, training your way of thinking and saving yourself from distraction.

How to apply Quranic teachings in my daily life despite my high-pressure job?

This is very easy. All you need to do is remember God wherever you are. You do not need to do anything special. At all times, you must think how your needs are getting fulfilled – discovering, realizing and making up your mind on these lines is all that is required.

If out of arrogance, I have done a wrong act that has caused trouble to the other person – would God forgive me or would I be punished for the act?

You should seek forgiveness from the person you demonstrated arrogance with. If that person is not available, then pray for him. The principle is that if the person is available, go and seek forgiveness from him, but if he is not available, pray for him.

As we continue to have busy work schedules, how do we extract wisdom from our daily experiences?

There is a lesson given in the Quran in Surah An-Nahl. According to it, the honeybee goes into the world of flowers and takes away nectar from it. Similarly, while living in this material world a human being must extract spiritual food from his daily experience and observation. Wherever you may be, in business, job, or shopping centre, you should keep your mind active. In this way it will keep extracting spiritual nectar for your soul.

The nectar for the bee is not kept elsewhere, but inside the flower it goes to. In the same way, the nectar for a person is also not kept anywhere special, rather it is in every sphere of life.

Should one lead a contented life or a discontented life?

The life of contentment is not possible because what we want cannot be had in this life and no one is an exception to this rule. Bill Gates is the richest person, and Donald Trump is the most powerful man

• but both live in discontentment! By nature, the only possibility is to live in discontentment because living in contentment is not possible. We have to find the reason as to why the Creator made the world such that we lead a life of discontentment. The answer I have found is that this is so because our intellectual development process continues non-stop. If we lead a life of contentment, there will be stagnation rather than development.

The Prophet said: ‘Seek knowledge even if you have to go as far as China.’ What does ‘knowledge’ here refer to?

Every form of knowledge is knowledge – anything that has wisdom and is useful, must be learnt. We should look at knowledge and learning not by virtue of being a Muslim, but by virtue of being a human being. There is only one thing which is wrong according to Islam, that is, hatred or violence. Everything needs to be look at from the spirit of enquiry.

Why is the first step towards intellectual development?

The first step is to say: ‘I was wrong’. When you say ‘I am right’, you remain stagnant, but when you admit your mistake, you gain something in return. That is, you realize where you were at fault and thus show willingness to correct yourself and learn that which is right.

How to cope with the loss of a parent?

God shall make one meet one’s pious parents in the Hereafter. This is like giving a positive turn to the event of their death. Those who lose a parent have been given a goal that if they keep working towards making themselves righteous, God will join them with their parents in Paradise in the Hereafter.

How do we know if by following religion we have become hardliners?

Hardliners are a result of religion, but a result of erroneous interpretation of religion. When you only define religion in terms of form, it makes you a hardliner. If you define it in terms of spirit, you will not become a hardliner.

I have a 15-year old son who is very short-tempered. How should I convey the importance of patience to him?

You do not have to change the boy, you have to change yourself. All children become so as a result of the pampering of their parents. You and your spouse should stop pampering your child. All parents without doubt and without exception pamper their children. Even my father used to pamper me when I was a child and whenever my uncle used to stop my father from doing so, the latter would say that he did not do any pampering at all. My father died when I was six years old and I was a pampered boy until then.

Is there a limit to patience? What if some community takes advantage of our situation?

Patience is a form of worship – then why a limit has to be assigned to it? Patience is held as the highest worship in the Quran, so will it have any limit? When there is no limit to the reward to patience, why should there be any limit to patience? The highest reward in the Quran is for keeping patience and therefore there can be no limit to it.

Exercising patience is actually continuing a process of personality development, something that must continue unhindered in our lifetime. Patience is not a standalone act, but a part of life.

Do you think industrialization is misleading the generation towards material greed?

This is a point of ignorance because temptation should not be mixed with the industrial age – temptation will never finish. Temptation was there even at the time of Adam when only he and Eve were the two people who existed. We must only look at opportunities

• today there is peace, ease of travel, communication and open- mindedness. These opportunities are very favourable for religion, as due to these changes of the present age people ask for the Word of God themselves! It is temptation, and not the industrial age per se, that misleads people.

What are the reasons for increasing divorce rates?

According to a research survey published by TIME, women were found to be more emotional as compared to men. The root cause of the problems is that on the one hand, women are emotional and on the other hand, men are unable to tackle these emotions. It is this inability to tackle on their behalf that becomes a source of friction.

When an issue arises between a couple, one of the two must play the role of a pacifist. But this does not happen and the problem only escalates. Both man and woman begin to think the issue is beyond management for them, whereas in reality the problem is that they both do not know how to manage it. Consequently, they arrive at the conclusion that separation is the only solution.

On the contrary, if either of them or a mediator takes time to pacify the matter, the situation could be dealt with differently. Emotions are temporary and once they settle normalcy prevails. All one needs to do is to carefully navigate through the time during which emotions subside. It is the lack of maturity on the part of those involved that leads to a stalemate and consequently the relationship breaks down.

As Dale Carnegie once said:

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotions. (Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (1937))

It must be noted that friction between couples usually starts on trivial matters. Issues that are significant and involve their mutual interest (such as children, property, etc.) serve as an impediment to drift apart. Once a judge said, ‘A little youngster born to a couple is an assurance that their marriage would not be dissolved in a divorce court.’

As emotions are to women, stubbornness is to men. This stubbornness is an equal contributor to friction between couples. So, in essence, a couple should either have a mediator or one of the two must have the wisdom to settle the matter on their own.

As per the philosophy of Absurdism, there is an idea that ‘if you have to die one day, then what is the purpose of planning for life?’

A philosopher is one who is a realist. Philosophies such as these are not realistic. Whatever a person plans and leaves behind is passed on to next generations, and this is the crux of social development. Such development is slow and gradual in nature. Seldom does the person behind a change or revolution gets to see its effect. Inventors, architects and other pioneers in history who have contributed largely with their work died without getting to see how greatly mankind has benefited from them. Had they thought along the lines of the philosophy of Absurdism, they would have made no sincere effort in their fields and the human civilization would have never progressed. Social development requires assiduous planning. For instance, the modern civilization has developed in four hundred years!

People have gone to great lengths to work on the aircraft. Many have even lost their lives. Despite all their work and research, the Wright brothers once expressed: ‘No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris.’ Today, airplanes fly and glide all around the world, all thanks to the contribution made in the beginning by the Wright brothers. However, the Wright brothers never got to see this day. Had they acted on the philosophy of Absurdism and not worked on the flying machine, the world today would have been unimaginable.

If Rockefeller would have thought about the disadvantages he had, America would have been deprived of some great institutions. America relentlessly did phenomenal work in the field of research which cost it billions of dollars, although every time research does not yield an immediate outcome. The price of development and planning is future progress.

What is a realistic approach to life?

The realistic approach is ‘the art of the possible’. That which is not possible only leads to violence. A gardener once planted flowers in the park in front of my house. Some kids came and plucked them out. A vegetable vendor on the road saw this happening from outside and scolded the children away. The children returned crying with their parents and they troubled the vegetable vendor so much that he had to move his shop away from there. He interfered with something that was not in his domain. This is an example of being unrealistic. The society or the park authorities should have intervened in the matter – why did the vegetable vendor speak up?

The realistic approach is to approach the real stakeholders and not step out of one’s own domain.

What is your biggest learning in life?

I was a seeker throughout my life. My pursuit began with the question I used to pose to God. I would often say to God: ‘O God, when will you come and till when should I wait for You to come?’ I used to often ask my self the question: If there is a Creator who exists beyond me, how should I discover Him? I had left Islam for about five years and had become an agnostic. I then discovered God and wrote the book, Islam Rediscovered. So, I found Islam as a matter of discovery and my belief is a self-discovered one, and not one of blind practice. This has been the biggest learning in my life.

How do people become ungrateful?

People become ungrateful when they take things for granted. They even take for granted the freely available life-support system that nature provides them.