WHAT PARENTS FACE TODAY
Rethinking Parental Roles
Effective teaching cannot be delivered through a rigid language of commands—“do this” and “don’t do that.” Today’s children do not respond to authoritarian instruction. What they need is thoughtful, reasoned guidance rooted in empathy and wisdom.
During a trip to California in the USA, I met a senior Indian immigrant and our conversation turned to the subject of education. I remarked that we were living in the age of knowledge and that the greatest need of the present generation was to educate themselves to the highest standard. But my interlocutor responded with disappointment. His attempts to introduce young people to higher learning, he said, had largely failed. “What we need now,” he concluded, “is not more education, but a re-conditioning of minds.”
I replied that much of the responsibility lay with parents. Parents have only two choices: either accept whatever their children become, or learn to understand their children and address their minds in a way that clarifies expectations and values. This challenge is visible in every society. Parents frequently complain about their children, yet the real issue is their inability to understand the mindset of the younger generation. A change in children’s thinking is certainly possible, but only if parents first cultivate the intellectual ability to speak meaningfully to their educated children.
The reality is that most parents in our society are traditionally minded, while they seek to place their children in modern, progressive educational environments. This mismatch requires an approach that blends traditional wisdom with contemporary realities. Instead of rigidly holding on to their inherited thinking, parents must reinterpret it in ways that resonate with the new generation. Failure to do so creates the very resistance parents complain about—children rejecting guidance, rebelling against expectations, and showing disinterest in meaningful education.
Thus, shortcomings in the sphere of education often stem from the parents themselves. The problem is not merely one of children needing “re-conditioning” but one of parents needing self-training. If they wish to guide their children effectively, they must learn to become counsellors—empathetic, balanced, and intellectually prepared. Weak counselling leads to weak outcomes.
Another major issue is pampering. Out of deep affection, parents often indulge their children excessively. Affection is healthy; pampering is harmful. Pampering fosters an easy-going, irresponsible nature that is wholly unsuited to the harsh realities of life. Pampered children rarely heed advice. They grow accustomed to immediate comfort and unquestioned acceptance. They know their desires well, but not the discipline or resilience needed to achieve anything substantial. When such children encounter the external world, they find themselves wholly unprepared.
I once met two Indian boys, both graduates, who admitted they were struggling to cope with life. At home, they said, their parents had always protected them, fulfilling every request without hesitation. But once they left home and tried to build their own futures, they felt unloved and unwanted. In the world outside, everything had a price—hard work, adjustment, competence, discipline, acceptance of reality, and even failure. “We were never trained for this,” they lamented.
This is the real danger of pampering: it produces individuals who are not equipped for life. Pampering is like manufacturing a product for which there is no market. It may satisfy the producer, but it serves no purpose in the world.
Parents must understand that their children need two kinds of education:
1. Professional education, which is provided by schools and universities.
2. Spiritual and emotional training, which can only be provided at home.
Parents are the teachers in this second, crucial institution. But effective teaching cannot be delivered through a rigid language of commands—“do this” and “don’t do that.” Today’s children do not respond to authoritarian instruction. What they need is thoughtful, reasoned guidance rooted in empathy and wisdom.
For this, parents must cultivate something deeper: rational thinking and spirituality . This means approaching life with clarity, purpose, and emotional maturity. It means modelling resilience, discipline, compassion, and intellectual curiosity. Children learn far more from the environment parents create than from the instructions they give.
The challenges parents face today are real, but not insurmountable. With self-reflection, balanced affection, and a willingness to grow alongside their children, parents can provide the thoughtful guidance needed for the next generation to thrive. q
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A powerful, thought-provoking video by Dr. Rajat Malhotra that challenges common doubts and explains suffering, free will, and the purpose of life with clarity and logic.
