The Qualities of
a Believing Woman
uMM SALMAH, Prophet Muhammad’s wife, once remarked to the Prophet, “I hear of God mentioning men but not women.” It was in this context that the following verse was revealed to the Prophet:
I will deny no man or woman among you the reward of their labors. You are members, one of another.28
This makes it clear that, although males and females differ from one another biologically, they are equal in terms of human status, they have a definite partnership with one another, and there is no distinction made between them as regards their respective rights. They are, in fact, each other’s lifetime companions.
THE PRINCIPLE OF THE DIVISION OF LABOR
Within the social framework, however, Islam—to the extent that it is both natural and practical—has adopted the division of labor in respect of the sexes, the man’s field of activity being basically external to the home, while the woman’s is domestic. This division, however, has never been intended as a form of discriminatory treatment. Its main purpose has always been to preserve the distinctive characteristics of both sexes, while deploying their respective talents and skills in the most socially useful manner. This enables both sexes to make the best use of their innate capabilities without causing any undue disruption in the family or in society. In Modern parlance, this is a form of managerial optimization rather than sexual discrimination. For this principle to be effective, the spheres of activity of men and women have had to be quite different and, of course, separate from each other. That is to say that the man’s field of activity is in the outside world, while the woman’s is in the home. This traditional distinction has been so often cited by feminists as an inhibiting factor in women’s lives that the true meaning of equality has been lost sight of. After all, it will be the very same virtues in thought, word and deed which will be prerequisites for both sexes to enter Paradise. If the qualities of piety, humility, honesty, patience and compassion are demanded of men, they will in like measure be demanded of women. The fact that men and women function in different spheres has no bearing whatsoever on the ultimate equality—equality in the eyes of God.
BASIC ATTRIBUTES OF MEN AND WOMEN
The characteristics of true believers, both men and women, are depicted in the Quran in the following words:
Men and women who have surrendered,
believing men and believing women,
obedient men and obedient women,
truthful men and truthful women,
enduring men and enduring women,
humble men and humble women,
men and women who give in charity,
men who fast and women who fast,
men and women who guard their chastity,
men and women who remember God in abundance—for them God has prepared forgiveness and a great reward.29
These then are the basic attributes which both men and women must cultivate if they are to endear themselves to God and become His favored servants:
ISLAM. The initial step to be taken is to embrace Islam, which means that one should willingly obey God, leading one’s life within the bounds of God’s commandments.
ISLAM (faith). Islam begins really to take root with the conscious discovery of God, which is known as iman (faith). When iman is genuine, the men or women concerned cannot but surrender themselves to God. Discovering God as their Creator causes them to treat Him as an object of worship and to mold their thinking upon the truth. They control their desires and dedicate their wealth to the cause of God. They even stop eating and drinking the whole day throughout the month of Ramadan in obedience to God’s will. Their consciousness of their servitude to God makes them remember God constantly, on all occasions and at all times.
QUNUT (sincere obedience to God). This entails the adoption of the path of piety as shown by God and His prophet. It means the fullest concentration of the heart and mind on the will of the Almighty.
SIDQ (truthfulness) means living an honest, straightforward life in the sense of saying plainly what one is going to do, and then actually doing as one has said. In other words, it means leading a life of principle.
SABAR (patience) is a quality which enables one never to deviate from religious teachings, even if one is faced with difficulties and persecution. It is the quality one needs if one is to follow the path of truth, surmounting all obstacles which have been placed there either by the self or by Satan. It is the virtue which will keep one from abandoning the divine path and succumbing to worldly temptations.
KHUSHU’ (apprehension, fear) is a powerful emotion which engenders an attitude of humility and submission. One comes to this state through a realization of God’s greatness and His absolute power, which is in stark contrast to man’s total powerlessness. The fear of God completely engulfs the believer, making him bow before his Maker. In consequence, he becomes kind to and humble towards other human beings.
SADAQAH (charity) is the duty of acceding to others the right to a share in one’s wealth. It makes one aware that if one’s own needs require the expenditure of money for their satisfaction, so also do the needs of others. One is never then oblivious to the needs of others.
SAWM (fasting) must be practised for the sake of God. By fasting, man contrasts his own helplessness with God’s omnipotence, and thanks God for the food and drink which He has bestowed upon him.
IHSAN (chastity). It is important as it keeps one pure and guards one against shameful behavior. The sense of shame which God has given man acts as a natural deterrent against permissiveness.
DHIKR (remembrance of God). One of the most important virtues is the frequent: remembrance of God. It is not enough to have made the discovery of the Creator and Sustainer of mankind: truly virtuous men and women must remember God at all times. One who has truly found God will always have Him in his thoughts and will always have His name on his lips.
The 66th chapter of the Quran, entitled “Prohibition,” mentions three more qualities of believing men and women: penitence, devoutness and obedience.
TAWBAH means feeling penitent about having committed a sin and then turning away from sinfulness. This is a very special attribute of believing men and women. In this world of trial one does make mistakes from time to time—dominated as one is by the self—but the effect of one’s wrongdoing will not be irreversible if one at once turns to God and repents one’s misdeeds. This repentance acknowledges God’s greatness as compared to man’s insignificance. Those who are truly repentant find the greatest favor in God’s eyes.
‘IBADAH (worship). This is the act performed to acknowledge supernatural exaltedness. It is familiarly known as worship, and its object should be none other than the Almighty. Believing men and women worship God and God alone.
SIYAHAH (itinerancy). The virtues of undertaking journeys for God’s cause are best explained in the hadith recorded by Abu Dawud: “According to Abu Umamah, a certain individual once asked the Prophet’s permission to become a dervish. The Prophet replied that the dervishism of his ummah (community) meant struggling in the path of God.”30
Travelling for the cause of God includes, according to Imam Raghib Asfahani, taking such action for His sake as necessitate moving about from one place to another. Examples of such travel are: covering long distances in order to acquire a knowledge of religion; emigrating for the sake of religion; visiting scenes of natural beauty or places of historical interest which have some lesson for mankind; and, especially, undertaking journeys in order to convey God’s message to His creatures.31
These qualities, separately enumerated above, when taken together constitute an ideal, not just for men, but for both sexes. These are the qualities that form the basis of Islam and are the true means of salvation in the world to come.
THE EXAMPLE OF MUSLIM WOMEN
Just as men function on different planes of religiosity, so do women have their own separate spheres of religious effectiveness.
Let us first consider their everyday level of existence in which adherence to their religion broadly means paying the dues of God and men in purely personal matters. In particular, it means true belief in God and the carrying out of His commandments; strict adherence to justice in all worldly transactions; withstanding the temptations of the self as instigated by Satan; paying what is due to God in terms of one’s wealth and life; giving the hereafter priority over the present world; being guided by Islamic ethics in dealing with one’s family, relatives and friends; invariably dealing with all matters in the manner approved of by Islam.
Next in importance to these feminine duties is the training and nurturing of children. Most women become mothers, and the relationship between mother and child is of the utmost importance, because the mother’s influence can be used for ends which may be good or evil depending upon the mother’s own proclivities. As a Muslim of course, it is clearly her duty to use her maternal influence to bring her children up as moral beings. If they have deviated from the path of moral rectitude, it is her duty to reform them. Everything that she does, in fact, should be for their betterment.
Another domestic imperative is that the woman who is both wife and mother should organize her own and her family’s lives in such a way that they are free of problems. She herself should never create difficulties for her husband and children. In many cases, knowing “what not to do” is more important than knowing “what to do.” In such matters, women are liable to err because they are more emotional by nature. By creating unnecessary problems for their husbands and children, they destroy the peace and quiet of home life. Sometimes they unwittingly slip into wrong ways of thinking: they have all the necessities of life, but these things, perhaps because they have been attained without a struggle, gradually cease to please them. Then they begin to feel that there are so many things lacking in their lives and their own dissatisfaction begins to vitiate what had formerly been a healthy, familial atmosphere. Regardless of whatever else a woman does, if she can simply refrain from creating problems of this nature, she will to a large extent have succeeded in creating a wholesome, domestic atmosphere and a happy family circle.
On a higher plane, it is possible for talented women to further the cause of religion when the right opportunity presents itself. There are innumerable examples in Islamic history of such work having been successfully carried out by women.
A notable example is that of ‘Aishah, an extremely intelligent woman who was one of the Prophet’s wives. Being much younger than he was, she survived him by about fifty years, and, with her excellent, almost photographic memory, was able to continue to communicate in great detail everything that she had learned from him during their very close companionship, so that for about half a century she was able to fulfill a highly informative role. In short, she became a living cassette recorder for the ummah. ‘Abdullah ibn al-’Abbas, a Companion of great stature, and one of the Quran’s best commentators, was one of ‘Aishah’ s pupils. The greater part of his knowledge of religion was learned from her. Similarly, many other Sahaba (Companions of the Prophet) and Tabi’un (companions of the Sahaba) acquired their religious knowledge’ from her. So here we have the very fine example of a Muslim woman imparting to others the religious knowledge which she had imbibed directly from the Prophet.
Another example of a woman making a signal contribution to the spread of religious learning is that of the daughter of Imam Abu Ja’far Tahavi (229-321 A.H.), the famous traditionist whose book, Sharh Ma’ani al-Athar, is regularly included in the syllabuses of Arabic schools. He dictated his book of traditions to his daughter and, as he read out the hadith, he would explain its finer points to her and then she would write it all down. The whole book was prepared in this way. This is one of the finest examples of a woman helping her family members in matters of religion.
The above examples show the nature and extent of the contribution which can be made by believing Muslim women to the cause of Islam.
28. TheQuran,3:195.
29. TheQuran,33:35.
30. AbuDawud,Sunan,Kitabal-Jihad,3/5.
31. The Quran, 22:46.
