ASK MAULANA
How should one respond in case of differences?
Differences are a part of life. A divergence of views and behaviour arises between people for a variety of reasons. And differences can occur between anyone. It can occur between two sincere people too. But even if differences cannot be prevented, that is no reason for any individual to indulge in negative behaviour. It should be borne in mind that despite differences, positive behaviour is both: a possibility and a necessity.
Regarding a person as always being wrong about everything—just because he holds different opinions—and calling him a hypocrite, ill-intentioned and insincere, are entirely un-Islamic reactions. The true believer looks at the issue of difference as a matter of intentions, and limits any ensuing dissension to the sphere of its origin. He never allows matters to escalate.
Severing relationships due to differences is not in accordance with the spirit of Islam. Mutual relationships should be maintained, while continuing serious discussion of contentious issues. Not greeting the person with whom one has differences, or refusing to meet such a person, is highly improper.
In this present world everything is designed to put man to the test. Differences also serve this purpose. Man ought to be extremely cautious, particularly at moments of contention. He should continuously strive to be tolerant; lest he show some improper reaction, which would be displeasing to God.
Remaining impartial in the face of differences is indeed a difficult task. But its reward too is great. Every right act is treated as an act of worship in Islam; it is therefore an act of superior worship when—in spite of controversies—one keeps one’s heart free of enmity and vengefulness, and adheres strictly to the path of justice.
The emergence of difference is not in itself a bad thing. What is bad is that, at the time of differences arising, the individuals concerned do not rise to the occasion. They fail miserably in the divine test. Remaining within the confines of decency is a virtue, and crossing the boundaries at such moments is an immoral act of the worst degree.
What is our duty to our parents?
The Quran has this to say regarding parents:
At several places the Quran exhorts us to be on our best behaviour with parents; to pay their dues, and, even when scolded by them, to refrain from angry retorts; we should never be found lacking in loving them or in serving them. That is to say: we should at all times conduct ourselves with the utmost propriety, regardless of how our parents treat us.
According to a Hadith, a man approached the Prophet and asked, “O Prophet, who is more deserving of my good behaviour?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man then asked, “Who after that?” The Prophet again said, “Your mother.” The man again repeated the question and the Prophet again said, “Your mother.” When the man asked the Prophet a fourth time, the Prophet replied “Your father.” (Sahih Muslim 16: 102)
There are many traditions which tell us that, after God, it is to parents that one has obligations, more than to anyone else. One reason for this is, in this world, individuals receive the maximum benefits from parents. As such, it is incumbent upon a person when he grows up, to serve his parents to the best of his ability. He should be of assistance in their old age as they had assisted him in his childhood.
Another reason is that: serving parents enables a person to become a servant of humanity at large, to look at all human beings with love; to honour them and to pay them their dues.
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