If from a vessel containing water a single drop is found to be brackish, it means that all of the liquid is undrinkable. We need sample only of one drop to know with certainty what the rest will be like. Much the same is true of the human personality. It is like an over brimming vessel which keeps on shedding drops for other people to savour, to find sweet or brackish as the case may be. Small instances of an individual's behaviour and quite short interludes in his company are generally sufficient to tell us what his overall personality is like. A thoughtless remark, an unfair manoeuvre, a failure to give much-needed sympathy or support, a devious transaction-all these are the plain indicators, like those brackish drops of water from the larger vessel, which indicate the lack of integrity or callousness of the person you are dealing with.
The human personality has the same homogeneity as water. A single human weakness cannot therefore be considered in isolation, as if it were an exception. It has to be looked upon as being representative of the entire personality. If an individual proves unreliable in one matter, he is likely to evince the same unreliability in other matters; if he is guilty of untrustworthiness on one occasion, the chances are that this trait will show up time and time again.
There is only one kind of person who is an exception to that rule, and that is the one who subjects his own behaviour to constant re-appraisal, who is continually scrutinizing himself for weaknesses and faults and who, once having found such faults, wastes no time in rooting them out.
A man who has made a mistake can completely erase the marks of what is an unfortunate experience for others by admitting his mistake and begging forgiveness. Some people are pricked by their consciences, but do nothing to assuage the ruffled feelings of others, thinking that to do so would be sheer weakness and would mean a loss of face. Such people can never have healthy social relationships and can never win the respect of their fellow men. They do not realize that a man displays his true mettle when he sees his own wrong actions for what they are, and humbly asks forgiveness.
It is only he who has learned the art of moral introspection who will, in the long run, prove himself a person of inviolable integrity.
"I have reached my present position by climbing a ladder and not by coming up to it in a lift." This observation was made by a tailor who had started with nothing but his own two hands and the will to work, and who had become eminently successful in his line of business. "Making a good coat is not child's play. The whole process is so complicated that without detailed information as to how to proceed, long experience and a high degree of skill, it is almost impossible to accomplish. It is only after a lifetime of hard work that I have succeeded in running a prosperous shop in the city."
The tailor went on to explain how he had served his apprenticeship under the guidance of an expert tailor. Just learning the art of cutting and sewing had taken him five long years. When he opened his own little shop, he discovered that he had difficulty in giving his customers a good fitting. This was because during his apprenticeship he had never really grasped the fact that people could be of such different shapes and sizes. He therefore set himself to the task of studying human anatomy, but it was only after many years of effort that he could make a coat with an absolutely perfect fitting. He eventually became so expert in this that he could even give perfect fittings to those who unfortunately suffered from deformities-such as hunchbacks. "In any type of work, there are many things which one has to learn on one's own. Often one cannot foresee these things at the outset, and each obstacle has to be overcome by hard work and ingenuity."
The tailor talked of many things of this nature concerning his skills, and it seemed to me as though I were listening to a lecture on the building of the nation by some very experienced person.
In truth, the only way to solve our economic and social problems is to follow the example of the tailor. After this initial apprenticeship, he had gone ahead and done things on his own. He had gone up by the stairs and not by the lift. There are no buttons, which you can just push and then automatically reach your goals. You can only make progress step by step. Progress can seldom be made by leaps and bounds. By means of the ladder you can progress even to the stage of owning the lift, but you cannot make a success of your life by starting with the lift and expecting it to do everything for you.
In general, I can say that normally people think that they should want an ideal life. A woman wants an ideal husband and an ideal family etc. which is not possible in this world. If this law of nature is understood, there will not be any such stress.
I read in the newspaper that Shahrukh Khan travelled to America and for two hours he was detained and checked. People created a lot of hue and cry that Americans should seek forgiveness. I thought that Shahrukh Khan and all others should think that it was only for two hours but soon a day will come when I will be checked for everything and so I should pray that the same happens in the hereafter and we get past quickly. It is because of these things that people take negative lessons. A positive person is one who takes a positive lesson from such instances.
Source: The Seeker’s Guide
Speaking Tree| TOI | April 2, 2011
Youth is full of aspirations. One needs to learn the art of controlling one's desires. Most young people follow their whims and fancies, often with undesirable results. They hanker after things which they think are important in life, but they are mistaken in their belief. Glamour doesn't last long, but the knowledge they acquire will stand them in good stead all through life.
It is un-Islamic to consider reconciliation as cowardice. If we opine so, what will we think about Prophet Muhammad? There is no other instance in history where reconciliation was done by unilaterally accepting the terms of the opposing party. This is an extreme example of reconciliation. Mr. Sajid Anwar told of an instance where the distribution of the Quran to non-Muslims was being discussed. An attendee interrupted the discussion and raised the question that if a non-Muslim disrespects the Quran and throws away the copy, who would be liable for punishment? In response, another attendee cited an instance whereby, a dawah contingent was sent to King of Iran. A companion took that document, which had Quranic verses. When he gave it to the King, he tore it away. So, the attendee asked who would be accountable in this case. This is no logic. It is misguidance from Satan so that Muslims refrain from doing dawah work. Reconciliation is not cowardice, it is wisdom and according to Quran it is the best way!
Along with creating man, God started a chain of prophethood for human guidance. In every age and in every nation prophets have come and conveyed the message of God to men. The Quran says.
Has he not heard of what is preached in the books of Moses and Abraham, who fulfilled his duty: that no soul shall bear another's burden and that each man shall be judged by his own labours; that his labours shall be scrutinized and that he shall be justly requited for them; that all things shall in the end return to God? (35:35-43)
While provision for the sustenance of life remained constantly available in this world, the principles of how to lead this life were sent to man by God again and again as the occasion demanded. Each prophet was truly a representative of God. But, with the passage of time, the books brought by the messengers were altered and marred by the interpolations of their followers. Thus the original divine guidance became veiled by these human additions. Ultimately God sent the Arab Prophet with the Qur'an. And God Himself undertook the responsibility of preserving the Qur'an in toto so that it might remain a source of authentic guidance for mankind for all time to come.
The essence of the reality revealed by God through the Prophet is that everyone will necessarily be rewarded for his actions in this world. None can escape the consequences of his actions, nor can anyone save another. Those who fail to take heed of the warnings by the Prophet are the most foolish in this world.
So far as man's relation to God is concerned, everyone is responsible for his own actions. None can share in the consequences of another's deeds. Nor will anyone reap a harvest in the next world other than what he has sown here in this world.
When a machine is produced it is accompanied by a set of instructions for its use. An engineer is also commis-sioned to give a practical demonstration of how the machine functions. Man is an even more intricately de-signed but animate machine. When he is born, he suddenly finds himself in a world where no mountain bears an inscription answering questions concerning the nature of the world, or explaining how he should live on earth. No educational institution produces experts who know the secret of life or who can provide man with practical guidance.
To satisfy this need felt by man, God sent His prophets to the world, every one of whom brought with him the word of God. In the scriptures revealed to them, God has explained the reality of life to man, and has made it clear what man should and should not do. They showed man what sentiments and ideas he should adopt; how he should remember his Lord; how he should live with his fellows, what he should associate himself with and disassociate himself from. The prophets' lives are a practical demonstration of how a person should live a God-fearing life.
God has given everyone the power to distinguish between right and wrong. He has also placed countless signs in space and on earth from which man can learn. Moreover, His revelations have been set down in human language and several of His servants chosen from amongst mankind as prophets, so that there should be no doubt as to the true path.
The Speaking Tree | Sunday, August 15, 2010
The difference between the two is very clear. True hope is based on reality, while false hope is based on sheer romanticism. When you examine a situation and take a realistic view of things, you have the right to be hopeful, but when you ignore the realities and adopt an ostrich-like approach, then, you are entertaining false hopes.
People are hesitant to say, 'I was wrong', because they believe it's an admission of their mistake before another person; they are not ready to do that. But it's not just a question of admitting your mistake; it is also a question of accepting the reality. Accepting reality leads to intellectual growth; it raises your intellectual level. When you say, 'I was wrong,' you are helping your own intellectual progress.
Speaking Tree | TOI | May 8, 2011
Parents play the key role in destroying their own children. They provide easy money, which is the root cause of all evils. Parents cannot blame anyone else because they are responsible themselves.
Source: The Seeker’s Guide
A man was riding his bicycle one day when suddenly his brake jammed. Luckily there was a bicycle repair-shop nearby, so he took his bike there to have it fixed. Thinking that the mechanic would fix the brake at the point where it was jammed, the cyclist was surprised to see him tap away with a small hammer at a completely different place. Before he was able to express his surprise, however, the mechanic handed the bike over. "That's fixed it. You can take it away now," he said. And off the cyclist rode, with his bike once again running smoothly.
What was true of this bicycle is true also of human society. When there is something wrong with society, people usually jump to the conclusion that where the malaise lies, there also lies the cure. But this is not the case. Usually the root of the malaise lies in a different place, far away from the symptoms. Until the cause is removed, the malaise itself will not go away.
For instance, there might be a lack of solidarity in society, or one's people may be the victims of oppression. A society may be beset with an atmosphere of intrigue, with the result that its voice carries no weight in the world. Detecting these symptoms, one who determines to right the ills of society might think that the cure lies in calling meetings and conventions in order to bring people together, feeding them emotional speeches and passing high-sounding resolutions and so on.
But this is not the way to cure the actual ills of society. To do so, one has to work on the cause, not the symptoms, for usually one will find that while a problem seems to be afflicting one part of society, the cure lies elsewhere. If there is a lack of solidarity, for instance, the reason for this is the failure of individuals to stand together. It is the individual, then, who has to be worked on. Solidarity has to be achieved at an individual level before it can come about in society. For it is a law of nature, and human society is no exception, that for a tree to bear good fruit, it is the seed, not the fruit itself, that has to be improved.
Source: Simple Wisdom
One of the important points made in the UNESCO constitution is as follows:
"Since war began in the minds of men it is in the mind that the defence of peace must be constructed."
This is an indisputable fact. Whether the quarrel is between two people on the street, or between groups or nations, the origin of all such incidents lies in the mind. It is in the mind that feelings of hatred, revenge and anger are produced, and when these spill over into provocation, the result is some measure of conflict, ranging from petty squabbling to full-scale war.
Largely speaking, negative thoughts arise in reaction to untoward behaviour on the part of others. Someone insults us and we become angry. An unpleasant situation is created--unnecessarily, we think-by someone, and we are provoked by this. Someone damages our prestige and we therefore seek revenge. All these vengeful impulses take shape first of all in our minds and when they are externalized, they wreak havoc. If peace could be established at the level of the mind, before there is any physical escalation of strife, the world would be a much better place to live in.
The only effective way to prevent quarrels, whether at the individual or at the national or international level, is to train people's minds: patience should be emphasized as the greatest of all virtues.
Such a mentality can be developed only if negative thinking is replaced by positive thinking. This should be directed at resistance to provocation and the avoidance of all unpleasantness and consequent entanglements. It must provide the basis for cool and unemotional decision-making, and, above all, for return of love for hatred.
Such a reform of the mind would lead to the most positive reconstruction of human affairs ever witnessed in human history.
Source: Simple Wisdom
The World champions often possess equal physical strength and capabilities, and receive training of an almost equal standard. Then why does one win and another lose? This question has been a topic of research in America for the past three years. The report of the group of scientists working on this has recently been published.
They chose the top international wrestlers and made comparisons of their physical strength and psychological reserves. They found out that there is one marked difference between the winners and the losers in world competitions. It is not a physical difference, yet it plays the most crucial role in winning or losing a competition. The experts discovered that the winners were more conscientious and in control of themselves than the losers. The report is summed up as follows:
"Losers tended to be more depressed and confused before competing, while the winners were positive and relaxed."(The Times of India, 26 July 1981). This applies equally to the broader field of life. In life when two individuals or two groups confront one another, their victory or defeat does not depend so much on material resources as on intellectual and psychological reserves.
The conviction that one's goals are worthwhile, the observation of discipline with no contradiction between words and thoughts, cool thinking, even in times of crisis-all these are qualities of mind and heart which determine success, and obviate failure in the wider field of life.
