Although Islam permits divorce, it lays great emphasis on it being a concession, and a measure to be resorted to only when there is no alternative. Seeing it in this light, the Prophet Muhammad said:

“Of all things permitted, divorce is the most hateful in the sight of God.” (Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith No. 2178)

When a man and a woman live together as husband and wife, it is but natural that they should have their differences; it being a biological and psychological fact that each man and woman born into this world are by their very nature quite different from each other. That is why the sole method of having unity in this world is to live unitedly in spite of differences. This can be achieved only through patience and tolerance, virtues advocated by the Prophet not only in a general sense, but, more importantly, in the particular context of married life. Without these qualities, there can be no stability in the bond of marriage.

However, it has to be conceded that life does not always function smoothly. Despite all safeguards, it sometimes does happen that a couple reach a stage of such desperation that they become intent on separation. Here the Shariah gives them guidance in that it prescribes a specific method for separation. The Quran expresses it thus:

“Divorce may be pronounced twice, then a woman must be retained in honour or allowed to go with kindness.” (2: 229)

This verse has been interpreted to mean that a man who has twice given notice of divorce over a period of two months should remember God before giving notice a third time. Then he should either keep his spouse with him in a spirit of goodwill, or he should release her without doing her any injustice.

This method of divorce prescribed by the Quran, i.e. taking three months to finalize it, makes it impossible for a man seeking divorce suddenly to cast his wife aside. Once he has said to his wife, “I divorce you,” both are expected to think the situation over for a whole month. If the man has a change of opinion during this period, he can withdraw his words. If not, he will again say, “I divorce you,” and they must again review the situation for a further month. Even at this stage, the husband has the right to revoke the proceedings if he has had a change of heart. If however, in the third month, he says, “I divorce you,” the divorce becomes final and the man ceases to have any right to revoke it. Now he is obliged to part with his wife in a spirit of good-will, and give her full rights.

This prescribed method of divorce has ensured that it is a well-considered, planned arrangement and not just a rash step taken in a fit of emotion.

Source: Spirit of Islam December 2016