The Speaking Tree | October 16, 2016

People created a hue and cry that Americans should apologise. I thought that Shah Rukh Khan and all others should see it this way: that it was only for two hours but soon a day will come when I will be checked for everything and so I should pray that the same happens in the hereafter and we get past all that quickly. It is because of these things that people take negative lessons. A positive person is one who takes a positive lesson from such instances.

We are told that board exams are crucial for students, but fear and uncertainty haunt me and have made me very apprehensive about the future. Some of my friends say that they'll commit suicide if they don't perform well.

■ According to my experience, nothing of this sort is crucial in life. What is important in life is sincerity and determination. Parents must inculcate this spirit in their children. Qualifying in an examination is good only for securing further admission in educational institutions, but it is not necessary for a better life in the future. Parents must educate their children in the principles of life and try to inculcate in them virtues like patience, wisdom, and adjustment. They must help them understand the importance of a realistic approach. They must teach them to learn from failure, and to know that it really doesn't matter if you don't get your way in everything. These are the things that alone come to use in real life. If you top in examinations, it is no guarantee that you will also top in life. If you are aware of the principles of life, then success will follow you. You mentioned about your friends talking about suicide. Suicide is not an option. Discover your potential, and you will realise that suicide is akin to underestimating both yourself and the Creator.

I think I have a split personality that is compelling me on, like a strict mentor. But pressure to match up to my friends hounds me, and I find that I am unable to concentrate. How do I deal with this?

■ Don't take your friends as ideals to emulate. There are thousands of books that discuss the lives of successful persons. You should read these books and try to draw lessons from the lives of such people.

Excessive academic stress is telling on my nerves. I sometimes go completely blank, and I am on the verge of a breakdown. I want my family to talk to me more, but they leave me entirely alone, saying that I shouldn't be disturbed. I have even thought of running away from home....

What your family is doing is out of love. In fact, they are giving you more time to discover your capabilities. Then why complain? Take it as an opportunity. Your books are your best companions. Try to live on your own, then you won't complain about others. The other name for this attitude of yours is 'underestimation of yourself '. Knowing more about the lives of successful people is as important as contact with family members, as the former gives you guidance for life, while the latter only give you emotional satisfaction. There is a world beyond parents, friends, and school. You should try to increase your learning by knowing about this world. And, be thankful to the person who gives you more time by not coming to meet you!